


Wholesome Reylo One-Shots

by Nerd_Mom_Writer



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2019-10-23 20:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17690408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_Mom_Writer/pseuds/Nerd_Mom_Writer
Summary: This is a collection of Reylo short stories that are wholesome in nature. Feb 21 update: Encounter at the Beach (K ) - Kylo visits a planet searching for a gifted force user and encounters Rey on the way.





	1. A Gift of Flowers

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my collection of reylo short stories! They may vary in rating, so keep a lookout for the description above them if rating is a concern. The collection rating will reflect the most severe rating among the stories, but is not necessarily representative of all stories.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after the Battle of Crait, Rey feels the bond open again for a special day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: A Gift of Flowers  
> Date Added: Feb 7, 2019  
> Rating: K+ (everyone)  
> Description: A few months after the Battle of Crait, Rey feels the bond open again for a special day.

Rey wiped the sweat dripping off her face with a towel and rubbed at her sweat-soaked hair before tossing the towel over her shoulder. The workout had been another hard one, but she wanted to be ready when she faced that man again in battle. Rey knew she had only bested him on Starkiller Base because he had already been badly injured. Rey had seen how he fought on the Supremacy. He was stronger and more capable than her. She could only hope the responsibilities of leading the First Order would distract him from his training enough to give her an edge before they met again.

Rey had to survive. The Resistance had to survive.

Rey bared her teeth at the fluorescent lights high above her in the ceiling of the ship bay. She could have trained in the Falcon, but there was more space to move outside. Rey had trained in almost every free hour she had in the months since Crait. Finn and Poe had taken to complaining that she didn't spend more time with them, but she couldn't stop until she eliminated every weakness.

She just didn't know how to eliminate her heart.

Rey gasped in fresh air as she tried to calm her raging heartbeat. He was in its shadows, roaring at her for rejecting him and asking her what if.

What if.

The memory unrolled like it happened only yesterday… That dark room had been filled with fire, smoke, and metal, and he had stood in its center and pleaded with her to stay at his side while explosions marked the deaths of her friends in the background. He had even offered her the galaxy.

A blast of cold air from the overhead fans brought Rey back to the present. She shook her head to clear it and felt tears roll down her cheeks. She hadn't wanted the galaxy, but she had wanted him.

“I don't even know him,” Rey reminded herself.

Rey sniffed and nearly wiped her face with her tunic when she caught sight of how sweaty it was. She stared at it a moment, sighed, and stomped aboard the Falcon to find fresh clothes. She hit the button to close the ramp without thinking and froze as another memory of that man took over.

The last time Rey had seen him, she had been staring down at him kneeling on the ground. The Resistance had narrowly escaped annihilation on Crait, and Rey was floating on the satisfaction that she had saved so many lives despite him. She knew she had done the right thing when he hadn't, and so she shut the door on him both literally and figuratively.

However, that satisfaction barely made a dent in the loneliness that swept in at the knowledge he was gone.

“I don’t know him. I don't even know what to call him.” She had called him Ben when she believed in him, but now? Another tear worked its way free, jerking her back to reality.

Rey stripped down quickly in the privacy of her ship and grabbed a clean towel to wipe the sweat off before putting on a fresh outfit. It didn't fix the smell, but she felt better.

Poe and Finn had once teased her for not caring more about cleanliness. They claimed her body odor had scared away all her other potential suitors. She had shot back that she preferred it that way, but even that remark had made her long for him again.

Ben had never reacted to her state of appearance. He had been too busy studying her soul to note her smell, and he had liked what he had seen. Even when she had come to him looking like a drowned rat and sobbing openly about her fears, he had listened patiently and shown her nothing but acceptance. He had seen her ugliness and her beauty. He had delved in her past and glimpsed into her future. He had seen her weakness and her strength. He had seen all of her, and he had wanted her.

Rey shivered at the intensity of the longing in his eyes. Even knowing what was at risk, she had nearly given in, but she couldn't regret rejecting him. His actions on Crait spoke plenty about what lurked beneath. She thought she had known him. She hadn’t known him at all.

“Ridiculous,” she mumbled to herself as she put the dirty clothes and towels away. “Like a child throwing a tantrum!” 

Yet he had known her. At least, he knew her better than anyone else. Both Finn and Poe had both expressed interest in her at different times. Finn had been blatantly enamored with her when they met. Rey was relieved when he attached himself to the technician Rose Tico instead. Poe was more casual with his interest, and she suspected it was a courtesy he went through with every new relatively young recruit to the Resistance, male or female. She had not missed the way he eyed Finn at first as well. Still, she couldn’t pretend she was interested no matter how handsome he was.

She knew them, but they did not know her. Not really, anyway. All they saw was the hero Rey. The Rey that could befriend and empathize with the creature that now led the First Order was a stranger to them. They never looked into her shadows.

And that was the conundrum. Rey stepped into a vent and let it blast away the last of the sweat from her body before strapping a tool belt to her waist. Even though she knew Kylo Ren was a monstrous child wielding entirely too much power, she couldn’t forget that he had seen her and understood her.

Perhaps she was also a monstrous child wielding entirely too much power.

Rey frowned and climbed down into the maintenance hole for the ship. The hyperdrive had been acting up lately, and she didn’t want to end up stranded with a First Order fleet behind her. In her fantasies, Ben captured her and released her out of love with promises to set things right.

It was a pathetic daydream and nearly as childish as her old dreams of living in a world covered with flowers. He had tried to prevent her from leaving last time, and she had no reason to believe he wouldn't kill her on sight now.

More tears snuck away, and she cursed herself for not remembering to bring a rag down to wipe her eyes on. It seemed like every time she had more than a few minutes to herself, she fell into this pattern. She should be over him by now, especially since she was the one who rejected him, but the tears kept falling.

She just felt so lonely, and she missed the companion he had been in that strange time when they would speak together from across the galaxy.

“You are not alone,” she said bitterly and scoffed even as she choked on the sudden welling of tears. “I’ve never been more alone,” she complained.

The knowledge he was still out there teased her constantly, just like her connection to him through the bond. They had control of it now, though neither of them had contacted each other since Crait. However, she could, if she wanted to.

Rey took a deep breath and exhaled. “Bad idea, Rey. He tried to kill you,” she muttered, just like every other time she considered it.

She climbed out of the maintenance hole and sprawled out on the cold steel floor of the Falcon. She sobbed as the chill seeped into her throbbing muscles and soul and melted her tension away, just like every other time, in this place where no one would see her or know how weak and pathetic she really was. She unleashed all her pain until she felt empty again.

But something was different this time. As her soul quieted, she felt something familiar and distant at once. The metallic floor seemed to wash over her slowly, and, suddenly, she felt him. He was there. He had opened the bond between them.

Rey froze. The logical, survivor part of her brain was screaming at her to get up and move into a defensive position. However, her heart was openly bleeding and desperate to know how he would react to seeing her tear-streaked and helpless. He had comforted her once. Would he comfort her again?

The seconds ticked away, and he neither moved nor spoke. Her heart pounded in her chest. He would have killed her already if that were his objective. The fact that he hadn't was sending her hopes into overdrive. She blushed, feeling awkward and stupid, and pulled herself up.

Rey finally risked looking at him.

He stood just a few feet away in the same dark ensemble he always seemed to be wearing, except that one time she caught him undressed through the bond. His hair was longer, pulled back in a loose ponytail at the base of his neck. Several wavy curls escaped to frame his face.

Had he always been so handsome?

As she studied him, he stepped closer to her, though he remained just out of reach. He gazed at her, looking all over her, from her eyes to her hair to her tunic to her feet, as if taking every inch of her into consideration. Even without a word from him, just having his attention so carefully put on her made Rey feel less lonely than she had since they had been on the Supremacy together. Her eyes welled up again, in relief this time.

“You’ve been crying,” he said with a frown.

Rey nodded. There was no concealing it when her face was streaked with wet lines. 

He narrowed his eyes. “Has someone hurt you?” he asked her in a quiet, dark voice.

“No, no one’s hurt me,” Rey said, shaking her head. She cracked a small smile at his concern. “I just…” The smile fell again. They were enemies now.

He seemed dazed for a moment. He took another small step forward, then shook himself and stepped back. “It’s nice hearing your voice,” he said. “I missed you.”

Rey cringed even as she wanted to wrap herself in his words. He missed her, but Crait… “You tried to shoot me down, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren,” she spat. “You tried to kill all of us! You tried to kill your own mother!”

He looked down as his eyes grew heavy. “I know,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

Rey waited, expecting him to say more, but he remained quiet. After a minute, the silence grew too loud for her. “That’s it!? You destroyed all but a handful of the Resistance, tried to kill me and everyone I loved that you hadn’t already destroyed, and all you have to say is you’re sorry!?”

Something flashed in his eyes, and he glared at her. “Even I cannot change the past, Rey.” He stepped back again and looked away from her now. His fingers twitched at his sides.

Rey watched his fingers. They were long and slender, and she realized with a start his gloves were not on. The only other time she had seen him without gloves was when he touched her hand through the bond… and there was also that time he was half-undressed, she supposed. She studied his form. The clothes hid much of his figure, but there was no question that he had maintained his training. Strength radiated from him.

“You’re really sorry?” she asked after she caught herself trying to picture him undressed again. Her cheeks burned, and she hated herself for wanting him of all the people in the galaxy.

“I liked it when you believed in me… when you still called me Ben Solo,” he said softly. “This monster that I have become… I would undo him if I knew how.”

Silence fell between them again, but this time, the quiet felt electric. Every nerve in Rey’s body tingled as she sensed that something big was coming. She stepped forward. “Do you want me to call you Ben?” she asked.

His brown eyes darted to hers like she had offered him a lifeline. “More than anything,” he whispered.

Rey gazed at him. “I can do that for you,” she said, not entirely certain what she was committing to. Her heart thrilled at the idea of talking to him again. She missed him so badly. “Ben Solo,” she said carefully. His eyes softened at his name. She fidgeted, started to step forward, but stayed in place. “How do I know you won’t try to hurt me again?”

He looked away. “You don’t. Even I don’t, but I am trying to change.” He smirked and looked at her. “I made friends with Hux.”

Rey made a face. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”

“Neither is he,” Ben confided with a broad grin. “He was absolutely determined to hate me. Snoke had pitched us against each other since we were practically youths, you know.” He chuckled gently, and Rey marveled at the brilliance the laughter brought to his face. “He didn’t trust me at all, but without Snoke to interfere, I was able to convince him we had quite a lot in common, including our goals for the First Order. It wasn’t so difficult after that. He knows loneliness too.”

Rey froze and found herself avoiding eye contact with Ben. She had spent the last few months frequently avoiding others and feeling more isolated than ever while Ben had been going out of his way to get to know the people around him and befriend them. The contrast was staggering.

She bit her lip, trying to restrain the intensity of what she felt… jealousy, shame, frustration, rejection, and grief all boiled around inside her. Some part of her whispered that a good jedi would have been happy that Ben found a new friendship, but she was too hurt to feel altruistic.

“While Hux and I are not necessarily good people by many definitions, we also did not care for how incredibly ruthless Snoke had been,” Kylo continued. “We took to challenging each other to find more humane ways of handling things. It’s improved morale among the officers. More than a few men have shared that they were uncertain about their roles under Snoke, but that they feel good about their work now.”

Rey nodded numbly, not entirely processing what he was telling her. The Ben Solo before her suddenly felt light years away. While she had been wallowing in her loneliness and focusing on little more than training for an eventual battle with him, he had been making friends and challenging himself to be a better person. Ben smiled again, and Rey realized it came to him easily. He must do it often now. Much had changed in the months they were apart. 

Rey sank back and hugged herself while Ben continued to discuss the positive changes he had been making in the First Order. She felt worthless, and in the dark moment, she felt overly aware of her own filthy state. She was disgusting. Ben, on the other hand, was clearly prepared for meeting her. His hair had the volume and glisten of being freshly cleaned. He smelled of soap and scented oil. His clothes were clean and free of wrinkles. Even his fingernails had not a hint of dirt in them.

“That brings me to why I wanted to meet you again,” Ben said, smiling gently at Rey. When she didn’t smile back, he frowned slightly, as if only just then taking note of her discomfort. He reached out a hand towards her and dropped it. “Unless you want me to leave.”

“No,” Rey said without thinking. She looked up at him and studied his eyes. They were quiet and peaceful, though perhaps a touch anxious. The intense anger of the Ben she had known before was no longer boiling just beneath the surface. Her heart lurched in her chest. “I don't want you to go.”

Ben's eyes lit up with wonder, and he nearly closed the gap between them when he looked back, as if remembering something. He bit his bottom lip and faced her. “Rey, my mother had a tradition on her home planet of Alderaan to honor…” he trailed off and blushed, and Rey raised her eyebrows. She had never known him to blush. “It's a day dedicated to letting someone know how important they are to you,” he explained and looked her in the eye. “Rey, you are important to me.”

Rey stared at him, mute with shock. She watched as he stepped back and reached out to lift a bouquet of brilliantly colored flowers with stems wrapped together from his side of the bond. He brought it forward and paused. “I don’t actually know if this will work, but I want to give you these.”

Ben held them out for her, and she gazed at them for a moment before remembering he was waiting on her. “Oh right,” she said, and she reached for them. They were solid in her grasp, and she gasped as she suddenly smelled their sweet perfume. “They’re beautiful.”

“Beautiful like you,” Ben said softly, gazing at her.

Rey’s heart melted as she realized he didn’t see her sweat or filth when he looked at her, and she missed him more than ever in that moment. “Thank you,” she said. She wondered if she should tell him how incredibly handsome she found him, but she held herself back. No matter how much they meant to each other, even he had acknowledged she couldn’t trust him yet. 

“You’re welcome,” Ben said.

There was an awkward moment where they both stood in silence. Rey distracted herself with the flowers. There had to be at least a half dozen varieties in the bouquet, and each one was a different color, shape, and smell. “I don't think I've ever seen so many flowers together. You know, I used to dream of living in a world covered in flowers as a child, but I never imagined so many kinds could exist.”

“I know,” Ben said in a voice thick with emotion. “I saw it before.” He paused, as if gathering courage. “I would like to speak with you again, as we once did.” He cleared his throat. “It would mean a lot to me.”

It was what Rey wished for too, and that thought, along with the gift of flowers, made Rey suddenly wary. No matter how much she missed him, he was still the enemy, and she had just accepted a gift from him through the force without even considering what else might be in it. If he included a trader, he would now know where the Resistance had been hiding. Her heart sank at her naivety, and she shoved the flowers against him. “I won’t let you use me to take advantage of the Resistance,” she said, despite knowing he may have already succeeded. 

Dismay marred his face, and the bond broke, leaving Rey alone again. She stumbled into the space he had been and realized the flowers had fallen onto the floor. They were still there.

“No, no, no,” she moaned as she tried to reopen their bond to dispose of the flowers, but it was like trying to find a door in a wall. He remained closed to her. She took a deep breath, ran her hands through her hair, and considered her options. There was no easy way to destroy potential tracers on the Falcon, and she did not even know that the flowers really were a risk. He had seemed sincere, but she had not survived this long without verifying things. 

Rey knelt down over the gorgeous flowers and cringed as she realized what she had to do. “I’m sorry,” she said to the flowers with a pained face. She untied them and found a small metal bit dangling from the ribbon. “A data chip?” she muttered, surprised. She set it carefully aside and then methodically took the bouquet apart, separating every petal, stem, and leaf until there was no place left to hide anything smaller than a thumbnail.

Rey found nothing more and was left with a broken pile of greens and petals. “They were just flowers,” she said softly. Her heart ached for their destruction, but she still had to investigate the data chip. He had not hidden the data chip, but that did not make it safe to use. A data chip could hold a program that sent one’s location or caused system failure. Still, there was only one way to find out what was on it. She deactivated the communication systems on the Falcon manually and inserted the chip into its computer to see what was on it.

“Coordinates?” she said and frowned. “Just coordinates?” She checked again, but nothing else was on the chip. “Coordinates to where?”

Rey bit her lip for a moment in thought. The flowers had held no hidden dangers. Ben had been nothing but open and kind when he approached her today. The coordinates could be anything, but she did not think he intended her harm with them.

Rey reconnected the communications for the Falcon and informed the Resistance base that she would be leaving to check something out. Once that was taken care of, she prepared the Falcon for lift-off.

“Where are you leading me, Ben?” she asked the stars as she entered the coordinates into the Falcon’s navigation system. According to the Falcon, the coordinates were for a rocky unnamed planet in a neutral system, but the planet itself had nothing of interest on it. Rey frowned. Had he wanted to meet her there? Was the First Order fleet there? Was something else of interest there?

Rey sighed. She wouldn’t know unless she went. 

She felt the bond through the force again, searching for Ben. He was still closed to her, but she could sense his hurt and frustration with her through the bond. Rey glared and punched in the launch sequence with force. A minute later, she was in the air and flying into space. If he wouldn’t speak to her through the bond, she would find him in person, and since the coordinates were her best lead… She pulled down the hyperdrive lever and entered hyperspace.

Rey looked again at the file for the planet. Someone had bothered to create a breathable atmosphere for it back before the clone wars as part of an attempt to scour it for mining materials, but the project had been long abandoned when nothing useful had been found, and substantial terraforming would be necessary to make the place livable. Of course, the Falcon’s record for the planet hadn’t been updated since before Rey was born, so perhaps more had been done to the planet since then.

Regardless, the system was definitely a neutral one, so any major First Order presence was unlikely… so whatever waited was likely either a gift or a trap. Rey had not notified anyone where she was heading, so if it were a trap…

Rey shook her head. Ben was many things, but he had always been honest with her. This wasn’t a trap… probably. She took a deep breath. She would just have to be careful.

The hyperspace exit alarm went off, and she prepared to enter normal space. She took a deep breath as she pushed the lever back and then gasped all over again when she saw the planet, coughing briefly to clear out her lungs.

“It’s… beautiful,” Rey said in awe.

The planet before her was covered in every color she could imagine. Rich blue bodies of water swirled between greens, golds, purples, pinks, and more colors than Rey had names for. As she flew in closer, she realized what she was really looking at.

“Flowers. An entire planet covered in fields of flowers… just like…”

Rey’s eyes watered as she smiled at the realization of what Ben had done for her. She had never seen so many varieties of flowers in her life. Brilliantly colored flowers bloomed as far as the eye could see in every direction. 

“It’s just like my childhood dream,” Rey said with a crooked smile of wonder.

The coordinates had included a planetside location as well, so she made her way there next and found a small wooden cottage built next to one of the many streams on the planet. Next to it was Ben Solo’s personal shuttle, and Rey shivered with anticipation. She bit her lip in hesitation for all of three seconds before landing the Falcon next to it. She practically ran down the ramp as it extended, threw open the front door to the cottage, and froze as she found Ben sitting down at a simple table inside the house. He leaned on his elbow heavily and didn’t look up as she came in. All her delight slipped away as she recalled how they had parted.

“Hi,” Rey said, suddenly feeling breathless as she took him in.

Ben lifted his head slowly to look at Rey, but he didn’t say anything as she walked towards him. She wanted to touch him to confirm he was really there, but she did not know that he would welcome it. She stood awkwardly next to him, ignoring the other chair. 

“This planet… It’s amazing,” she said. “Thank you for letting me see it.”

He clenched his eyes shut. “It’s not enough to make up for what I’ve done, but I thought it might help you smile.” He opened his eyes again and pierced her with his steady gaze. “It’s yours, along with this cottage. It’s meant to be a retreat, should you need one. There are books on the flowers here, as well as some jedi texts you might find useful.”

Ben pulled himself up and away from her. He walked to a stocked bookshelf beside a tidy bed and picked up a slender box about the length of her arm. “A new lightsaber, to replace the one I helped crack,” he said and offered it to her. 

Rey took the box from him and opened it. She was confused at the length of it until she realized it was double-ended. She turned it on and purple beams came out either end. “It’s like my staff!” she said in shock.

“I knew you had experience with staves from your memories. I thought this design might be more comfortable for you,” he said.

She stared at the lightstaff another moment before switching it back off and setting it and the box on the table. She wanted to hug him in thanks, but he had been expressionless and closed off since she arrived. “You're angry with me,” she said. “I can't apologize for…”

“I’m not angry with you,” he said, cutting her off. “You have every right to be suspicious, Rey. I couldn’t even reassure you that I wouldn’t hurt you again.” He walked towards the door and paused with a hand on the handle. He looked back at her. “Could we… would it be okay to talk sometime?”

Rey’s heart skipped a beat. She lunged forward, wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, and buried her head into his back. “Yes,” she croaked, her voice hoarse with emotion. His body tensed in reaction to her embrace, and then sagged against her.

“You don’t hate me,” he said. He removed his hand from the handle, and Rey loosened her grip as he twisted around to face her and return the hug. Rey nuzzled her head against his chest and breathed in the rich smell of the leather and something uniquely him.

“I missed you too,” Rey said. “Even at my angriest, I still missed you.” She pulled away then just enough to look up at him. “But Ben, we’re at war. I spent every free moment since I last saw you training to defeat you when we met next in battle.”

Ben gazed at her for a moment. “I could help you,” he said.

“What?” Rey asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Train you to defeat me.”

Rey shook her head. “You can’t be serious.”

“Why not? I’ve been offering to be your teacher since we met. Let me. Please,” he gently pulled her tighter to him at the waist and leaned his head onto her shoulder. “I bought you a world and terraformed it to be covered in flowers for you. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for you, Rey. If your dream is to be powerful enough to defeat me, than let me help you.”

The rumble of his voice against her neck made Rey’s knees go weak, and she slumped against him, letting his arms support her upright. She leaned her head against his and felt him nuzzle her in response. She felt warm, safe, and loved. 

“Rey?” he said after a moment. The scrape of his chin sent chills through her.

“You can train me,” she said. After all, she told herself, she needed training, and he would be the best expert on how to defeat him. 

“Thank you,” Ben said and stood back from her with his hands still around her waist to support her. When she found her balance, he let go and scratched the tip of his nose with one finger. “I actually should go now. I didn’t expect you to come here after our fight, and Hux was waiting for my return. He will get suspicious if I take too long.”

Rey studied his eyes and saw his gaze drop to her lips. Her eyes widened, but she didn’t let herself think about it. She simply stood on her tiptoes, yanked him down by the chest of his shirt, and kissed him lightly on the lips before letting go of him and backing away. She could feel herself blushing from her toenails to her ears. “Then you better get going.”

Ben had also turned completely red, and a goofy grin appeared on his face. “I’ll see you around, right?”

“You have to if you’re training me,” Rey reminded him. Ben’s grin brightened. He took her hand briefly, squeezed it, and slipped out the door. A couple minutes later, Rey heard the noise of his ship taking off.

Rey grinned and threw herself onto the wide cottage bed to organize her thoughts. She squealed with delight as she processed that Ben still cared for her deeply, but the realization that he was still the Supreme Leader of the First Order sobered her shortly after. Mutual affection aside, she was still taking a major risk with a self-acknowledged unstable man. She frowned and sighed, but she could not make herself regret agreeing to spend more time with him. No matter their differences, she was unquestionably relieved to have him back in her life, and there was the matter of that kiss too. 

He definitely had not minded it.

Rey smirked and climbed off the bed to begin the exploration of her new cottage. The bookshelf next to the bed contained enough books on flowers and the force to keep her busy for weeks. The kitchen had enough food and water to let her rest in comfort for several days if she wished, and the bed had been incredibly comfortable with its homely quilted blanket. The cottage even had a small refresher and a closet for storage. She had never experienced something so luxurious in her life.

Hours passed before Rey felt the need to return to the Falcon, and she only left because she suspected the others would worry if she went too long without contacting them. Finn answered the com call, and after he expressed his relief at her checking in, he shared that he heard about this funny little tradition from General Organa.

“So, like, apparently I’m supposed to give special gifts to the person I love on this day, so I tried giving Rose my jacket… you know, the one that was originally Poe’s? But she freaked out on me saying she didn’t want some other man’s gift to me, and I didn’t know what was up with that. I mean, a gift is a gift, isn’t it? I’m beginning to think this whole special occasion thing was made up by the general to watch us all embarrass ourselves. Speaking of which, you wouldn’t believe what Poe did.”

Rey grinned as she heard her friend detail out Poe’s antics. They might still be at war, and there was a lot left unresolved, but Ben still cared for her, and somehow, that made everything easier to bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Nerd Mom Writer took a break from Premonition to write a Reylo one-shot in honor of Valentine's Day!? Yes, I did! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Please, please, please let me know what you think!
> 
> Furthermore, if you're new to my writing and like my style of reylo, feel free to check out my other reylo fanfics. I'm all about keeping it wholesome at heart, and I don't abandon my stories. Just keep an eye out for the content rating. Most of my stuff is T, but I do have an M fic in there.


	2. Encounter at the Beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo visits a planet searching for a gifted force user and encounters Rey on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Encounter at the Beach  
> Date Added: Feb 21, 2019  
> Rating: K+ (everyone)  
> Description: Kylo visits a planet searching for a gifted force user and encounters Rey on the way.

Encounter at the Beach

A warm, wet wind whipped Kylo's hair about. Kylo leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and took in a deep breath of the salty sea breeze. He had not been to a proper beach-side in some time. Though he came seeking a child rumored to be talented in the force, he wanted to admire the ocean and listen to the crashing of the waves before he went back to the Supremacy with its recycled air, loud construction from repairs, and endless beeps from a thousand systems.

The child could wait. After all, when he reached into the force to determine how strong the child's presence was in the force, he found someone else.

Rey.

Rey was also on the planet. Kylo smirked and made his way towards her. She must have come for the child too, and, like Kylo, had detoured to the beach first.

When he reached the beach, Rey stood barefoot and ankle deep in the receding waves facing the rising sun over the ocean. She gave no indication that she was aware of his presence, and given how strong the wind was, she likely wouldn't hear him even if he shouted for her now. She wore white garb and had a new lightsaber attached to her belt.

Kylo knelt down into a crouch and considered what to do with Rey. They were enemies. He had not seen her since the force connected them on Crait, and yet… the rage that had filled him during that battle was wholly absent now. After all, though she had not stayed as he asked, she also had not killed him when she had the chance.

Furthermore…

He still wanted her.

Kylo gently tugged at his bottom lip and studied her with thoughtful eyes. She had her arms slightly out to each side, as if she were embracing the strong breeze coming off the ocean, and he watched as a ball of water formed from the surface and lifted into the air before her. She dropped it and got splashed, and he watched her laugh in delight. He felt his lips move, and he realized he had smiled just watching her.

That decided it.

Kylo stood up and quickly walked towards Rey, trusting her fascination with the water to keep her from turning around. He stopped ten feet away, watching as she brought several new globes of water into the nearby air.

Kylo grinned and flicked the force with his fingers.

The balls exploded into Rey, soaking her.

She shrieked in shock and whipped around, finally realizing she wasn't alone. Her eyes widened, then narrowed. She reached for her lightsaber, but Kylo had expected as much. He chose that moment to yank the sand out from under her feet into a cloud around her.

Rey yelped again as she fell flat on her back. Kylo stepped closer with the intention to help pull her up, but the steady hum and sudden light of her lightsaber convinced him otherwise. He pulled his hand back and freed his own lightsaber from its holster, but he did not ignite it yet.

"What do you want?" Rey hissed as she climbed to her feet.

Kylo frowned in disappointment. She was angry, not that he blamed her. Still, he wanted to take her down a notch before he admitted he made a mistake on Crait. The Rey before him was too much like the self-righteous girl who had called him a monster. He wanted to give his apology to that lost soul who had reached out for his hand and surrendered herself to him in the hope he could be someone better.

"You need a teacher, Rey. A proper jedi would never have been caught off guard like that," Kylo said with a straight face and as bored a tone as he could fake.

Rey growled at him and charged. Kylo smirked. He watched her approach with thrilled delight and stepped out of the way at the last moment. Rey pivoted on the spot and swung her blade in a wide arc aimed at Kylo's midriff, but Kylo stopped it with his own blade at the last moment. He leaned into the block and took the opportunity to blow a poof of air at the loose hairs on her forehead.

Rey leapt back and stared at him with narrowed eyes, her lightsaber loose at her side. A moment later, her eyes widened. "You don't want me dead."

"I don't," Kylo confirmed. He turned his blade back off, but kept it in his hand.

Rey deactivated her own lightsaber and stepped forward. "What do you want?" she asked again, but this time nothing but curiosity colored the words.

You.

He said nothing.

"You're here for the child too, aren't you?"

He shrugged, both a confirmation and a dismissal.

"I won't let you have her, Ben," Rey said, and she started walking away.

No.

Don't leave.

He didn't even think about it. He just reached out with the force, and a wall of sand formed in front of her, blocking her path. He knew he shouldn't, and yet…

Rey's shoulders shook, her breath hitched, and her whole body trembled. "Will you never let me go?" she asked in a small, quiet voice.

He released her without a thought, and the wall of sand he had built crumbled with his heart. He knew he should apologize, but he couldn't make himself speak. He watched in helpless silence as Rey sprinted away from him and the beach, leaving him alone on the shore.

The roaring of the waves was no match for what he felt in his heart. He stumbled. He couldn't process what just happened. He simply couldn't.

With an outcry of fury, he activated his lightsaber and slashed the sand, as it was the only thing within reach.

The sand melted under the heat of the blade, and it transformed.

"Glass," Kylo said. His curiosity temporarily overwhelmed his grief, and he deliberately drew his lightsaber through the sand, marveling at the transition of sand to glass. His heart still raced, and he could not quite yet think about what happened with Rey, but he could do this. He recalled his old calligraphy set and wondered if the art could be performed in the sand with his blade.

He would find out, and when he had traced lines of glass on every foot of dry sand on this beach, perhaps he could revisit his thoughts and analyze what had happened.

The Sun rose high into the sky and sweat poured down his back as Kylo lost himself to the strokes and swirls of his lightsaber on the sandy beach. At some point, he stripped down to his pants and boots. His artwork extended from the grass all the way down to where the sand was still damp from the receding tide. When he could not move another step for twenty feet without interrupting his creation or extending it into wet sand, he shrugged off his boots too, unclipped his lightsaber to leave on the shore, and waded into the water.

The frigid cold water instantly cooled both his body and mind, though the saltwater found every microscopic spot where bits of the newly molten glass had splattered his clothes and burned through. It stung, but he relished the pain. Pain he understood and could process, and with that realization, he found he could think about his encounter with Rey.

He wanted her. He wanted her badly. She was his match in so many ways, and he never felt so alive as when she was challenging him.

The undertow tugged out the sand from beneath his feet, and another wave splashed into him. The pain from his many small burns began to lessen as he grew used to it.

Kylo could think of no better match than Rey for him, and he wanted to spend the rest of his days being challenged by her. Similarly, he knew that he was the best person to challenge Rey… they could grow so powerful together, but…

Did she want that?

He fell face-first into the ocean, blowing bubbles through his nose to prevent the saltwater from entering, and swam through the constantly shifting water. He wanted to lose himself in its darkness. He allowed the waves to tumble his body back and forth. When he felt his lungs would burst, he broke free of the water and gasped for air.

He wanted Rey badly, but he did not want her against her will. He was not above imprisoning someone, but the fire that blossomed within Rey required freedom. He wanted to fan those flames until they seared away all the loneliness and pain they both felt.

"Rey," he said softly, clenching his eyes shut as he drifted with the current. She did not want what he wanted. She rejected him before, and she showed no interest in reconciliation today.

He had lost her.

Grief shook him, and his eyes heated with tears that slipped free to join the ocean water. He roared his anguish and sobbed until he felt empty. Some part of him questioned if he should even bother leaving the water again, but he was a survivor. He had been broken before.

He would survive this too.

When Kylo's legs became weak, he trudged his way free of the waters. He noted absently that the glass creation was no longer in sight on the beach, so the ocean currents must have carried him far down the shoreline. He would need to return eventually to collect his lightsaber, at least, but it could wait.

He stretched out on the hot sand and gazed at the sky. The sun was falling again, and the wind had calmed, leaving the clouds nearly stationary above him. The sand and air began to cool somewhat, and his skin dried off.

The storm had passed. He felt peace again.

As time passed, exhaustion tugged at his consciousness. He was nearly asleep when he heard the unstable vibration of his own blade being lit nearby.

He opened his eyes to see Rey standing just a few feet away to his left. She held his lit blade and locked onto his eyes with her own. Adrenaline coursed through him at the thought of her striking him down. Should he try to stop her? He would not kill her. The regret of what he had nearly done on Crait consumed him for weeks after. Then again, eventually, one of them would have to kill the other if they were to remain adversaries, and if he couldn't kill her...

Kylo closed his eyes.

The next few seconds lasted a lifetime. However, no blade entered him. He heard his lightsaber shut off, and he felt fabric hit his bare chest. Kylo opened his eyes and sat up to find his tunic and socks on his lap. Rey placed his boots by his feet next and crouched beside him, staring at the ocean deliberately. She kept his lightsaber in her hands.

"Put your clothes on. We need to talk," Rey muttered.

A faint blush marked what he could see of her ears and cheeks. The sight stirred his heart, and Kylo inwardly cursed his traitorous heart for anticipating what was coming. There would be nothing. She had already rejected him and walked away. This was probably just about the war or maybe the kid… probably the kid. She didn't have the kid with her. Unexpected.

Kylo put on his tunic and boots. He would not have minded more time with the sand between his toes, but those simple pleasures lost much of their appeal with Rey so close while out of reach.

"Thank you," Rey said when she realized he was decent. She looked slightly back at him, studying him. "I need to know what you intend to do with the girl. She wouldn't leave with me voluntarily, but if you're just going to march over there and abduct or kill-"

"No," Kylo said, interrupting her. He might have before Rey came, but he no longer had the spare energy to deal with a reluctant brat of the force.

Rey frowned and twisted around to face him fully. "You'll let her be?"

"For now," he said.

Rey twisted back to face the ocean. "She has a family… a mom, a dad… siblings… grandparents that all love each other. They even have pets and a garden. She's happy. She knows that the galaxy will need her abilities someday, but she wants to have that life while she can." Rey shivered, and her grief was palpable. That's right. Rey had always wanted a family.

Kylo studied Rey's right hand where she leaned on it in the sand. He wanted badly to touch it and comfort her, but he knew he was unwelcome. He formed fists instead and clenched his jaw against the urge. He should leave before he had more to regret.

"I need my lightsaber, Rey."

"What will you do with it, Ben?" she asked while looking at his lightsaber hilt in her hands.

"Leave," he said. He wondered if he would have to choose between taking the lightsaber from her with the force and abandoning it to her. If he were to build a new one, would he bleed its kyber crystal as well? He was not sure he had enough darkness left in him for such a task.

Rey froze for five seconds before she hugged the lightsaber hilt to her. "We still need to talk."

"Will you never let me go?" Kylo quoted back at her from earlier, hoping the words would dig hard enough to help her realize she was holding him hostage by keeping his lightsaber from him.

Rey flinched as if stung. She stood up, flung his lightsaber at him, and clenched her fists. "What's wrong with you!?"

Kylo calmly clipped his lightsaber to his side and stood up to return to his ship. He didn't have words to explain the devastation he felt after finally accepting her rejection of him.

He turned his back on Rey and took two steps when he heard her move. The sound of her lightsaber filled his right ear. He glanced down to see the blade inches from his neck. He sighed and closed his eyes. "What are you doing, Rey?"

"Fight me, Ben," Rey demanded over the hum of her lightsaber.

"I'm tired, Rey," Kylo said. He heard the lightsaber switch off, took a step, and fell face-first into the beach as the sand under his foot suddenly scattered away. He spit out a mouth of sand and glared at Rey, who towered over him with determination painted across her face.

"Why won't you fight back?" Rey whispered.

"I'm in no mood to play games, Rey," he said and pulled himself to his hands and knees just as what felt like a wave of ice cold saltwater crashed on him, soaking him to the bone. He whipped his eyes up to Rey, who glared at him.

"Fight me," she insisted, her face serious.

Kylo sighed and collapsed into a seated position facing her rather than risk having the sand pulled out from beneath him again. "Why do you want me to fight you?"

Rey growled at him, looked away sharply, blew out a deep breath, and crouched down in front of him on the heels of her feet. Her brow was tugged together, and the corners of her lips turned down slightly. "I need to know you're okay."

Kylo looked at her a moment in confusion before he realized what was going on. "You're worried. Why?"

Rey rolled back to sit and hugged her knees, resting her chin on them. "Why did you let me go earlier? Why didn't you protect yourself when I held my lightsaber to your neck just now?"

Kylo stared at her, trying to think of the best way to put what he felt into words. "I don't want you to lose," he finally said. Her eyes widened, and he looked away, not wanting the opportunity to guess her thoughts from her expression. He turned to gaze at the ocean instead and watched the waves come in and out. The crash of the water offered little comfort to his frustration, and his wet clothes were sapping him of warmth.

"Why?" Rey asked after some time had passed.

"You know why," Kylo muttered without hesitating or looking at her. Surely there was no way she could have missed how desperately he wanted to be with her. He had offered her the galaxy at his side like some lovesick youth and begged her when she did not accept right away. He knew he was a fool, but he could not help what he felt. His vision blurred, and he turned away before she could see the tears slip out.

Rey stood back up, and Kylo's heart lurched at the thought of her leaving. He wondered if he would ever see her again. He certainly would not seek her out next time they crossed paths when this agony was his reward.

"Ben," Rey said after a moment of standing there. "I'm going to need to check back here and make sure that little girl is doing okay… maybe once a standard month or so? You could check too, to keep an eye on things."

Kylo squeezed his eyes shut against the wave of frustration he felt at hearing her words. "Why are you doing this, Rey?"

"Because I care about you," Rey said.

"You didn't care about me when you left me unconscious on a broken ship," Kylo reminded her, looking up at her. "Just this morning you were prepared to kill me."

Her narrowed eyes met his like crosshairs finding their target. "You didn't love me when you tried to force me to stay on the Supremacy." She kept her eyes on him, but they softened. "But something changed since then."

"What is this, Rey? You discover my feelings for you deepened and now you want me around? I'm not interested in preserving the Resistance or letting go of my darkness, so don't count on me to don white robes and save the day. There is nothing to gain from getting close to me." He took a deep breath. "You don't want me. Why make me suffer more?"

To Kylo's surprise, Rey's face fell slack with shock, except for her chin, which trembled violently. Tears slipped free from her eyes, drawing wet trails down her cheeks, and then fury overtook her. "You think I'm still trying to recruit you to the Resistance?" She flexed her rigid hands. "Ben, if I were only here for the Resistance, I would have killed you. Poe's been trying to convince me to assassinate you since Crait. Even General Organa has said she would forgive me for doing what needs to be done, as she put it. They don't want me to recruit you. They wouldn't trust you to be in the same solar system as them. They want you dead."

Kylo closed his eyes as he processed the grief that even his own mother had given up on him. He had wanted to apologize to her for what happened… for killing Han, for allowing his men to nearly kill her. He had thought her gone when he attacked the Resistance on Crait so mercilessly. Perhaps, in the moment, he would not have altered his attack plans on Crait had he known his mother was there, but he had been relieved afterwards to discover she survived.

"Ben?" Rey said.

Kylo blinked a few times and looked at her. He had actually forgotten she was there for a moment.

"I'm committing treason by letting you live," Rey said. She sat down next to him, also facing the ocean. "But you… I never told anyone about our force bond."

"Me either," he said. Who would he tell? He had no friends, except perhaps Hux, if that cold rivalry of sarcasm and passive aggressive challenges could be considered friendship. The man hadn't outright tried to kill him though, so that was something, and occasionally they drank together.

Rey sighed, drawing Kylo's attention to her. She was biting her lip and staring at her hand where it rested on the sand. Slowly, she splayed her fingers into the sand, pulled them back together, and splayed them again. "Ben," she said and looked to him. "If… and I do mean if… If we were to… be something other than enemies, would you stop me again? From trying to save the Resistance, or leaving when I want, that is..."

"I don't understand," Kylo said. What was she getting at? They were at war, and she had rejected him. How could they not be enemies at this point?

Rey inhaled quickly and let it out. "The next time we are together and the Resistance needs me, will you stop me from going to them to help them?"

Kylo shook his head before he even fully considered it. He was tired of fighting Rey. "We both know I can't stop you when you want to go," he added. He had lost to her in many ways.

She narrowed her eyes. "Would you stop me if you could?"

He shook his head again. "I shouldn't have tried on the Supremacy. I'm sorry, Rey. I wasn't thinking. I had gotten it in my head that you… wanted to be with me. I was drawn to you. I killed Snoke for you, Rey. We got along, we could learn so much from each other, and I knew you were lonely… it just made sense." He scowled. "But that's not how those things work. Once I remembered that, I felt nothing but shame at my actions."

"You tried to stop me again this morning," Rey pointed out, stabbing the sand with a finger.

"I wanted to talk to you. I didn't want to lose you again," Kylo said. He took a deep breath. "But it doesn't matter. There's no point in stopping you if you don't want to stay." The wind picked back up, and Kylo realized his clothes were drying rapidly despite the quickly setting sun. "It's getting darker, Rey. I should go."

He started pulling himself up when he felt her hand grasp his. Her hand was small and ice-cold, just like last time. He stared at her in confusion. "What are you doing, Rey?" he asked. His heartbeat raced at the contact. He started to pull away, and she held it tighter. Kylo ripped his hand free and stood up. Rey followed him upright, and they stood facing each other.

"Ben, I want to see you again," Rey said. "Please."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I…" she cut herself off sharply and looked away. "Do you have any idea how scared I was when you tried to keep me from helping my friends?"

"I already apologized, Rey," Kylo grumbled and started walking away. Rey fell into his pace at his side, and Kylo resisted the urge to speed up.

"I'm trying to say I would have come back, Ben!"

Kylo froze and stared at her. "What do you mean?"

Rey sighed and faced him. "If you hadn't tried to stop me from helping the Resistance, I would have come back to you after."

Kylo didn't understand. "We were at war, Rey. You only came to me because you thought I would join you with the Resistance."

Rey shrugged. "In part, but I thought we would be together regardless. You said I wasn't alone, Ben. Before we had the visions, before we ever talked about how what was between us would impact the war, you said I wasn't alone. I wanted to be with you. I never felt more alone than when I had to leave your side."

Kylo stared at her dumbfounded as she kept her eyes locked on him and took his hand in hers once more.

"Ben, I want to see you again."

"Okay," he rasped.

"Okay?" Rey asked, cracking a smile despite watery eyes.

"You're sure?" Kylo asked. He didn't want to risk misunderstanding her. "You're sure you want to be at my side? Despite everything?"

"You'll let me leave when I need to go?" Rey asked. "You won't try to stop me?"

"I won't try to stop you," Kylo said with every fiber of his being.

"And if we get in another fight, you won't try to kill me and everyone I love immediately after in a fit of rage?"

Kylo's ears burned in shame. "Maybe you can help me learn to tame my temper."

Rey shook her head and laughed. "I'd be a poor teacher. I nearly killed Finn when I first met him just because I didn't know why he was wearing Poe's jacket."

Kylo tried to smile, but the thought of Rey being so protective of the handsome Poe Dameron irked him. "You, uh… are you and Poe close?"

Rey shrugged. "I guess. I mean, we're the top two pilots, and we're both close to General Organa… oh, and Finn and BB-8. I'm closer to Finn though."

Kylo's heart sank several levels with her admission. "Rey," he said, and he paused as he decided how much he should say. "I want to kiss you," he blurted out.

Rey's eyes widened with shock as her eyes darted to his lips. "Oh, umm, okay," she said in a high-pitched voice. "Right now?"

Kylo's heart leapt to his throat. "Not right now, I mean, yes, right now too, but I want to be in a relationship where I can kiss you, well, not right away necessarily, but… argh." He rubbed his free hand through his mess of sand-dusted, ocean-tangled hair. "I don't know that I could handle being close to you when you're kissing other people."

"Oh!" Rey said and burst out laughing. "No, I'm not kissing Finn or Poe or anyone else. Finn is like a brother, and Poe is…" She made a weird face. "Poe. Poe is Poe. He flirts with everyone, but we don't have anything special like that. Poe and me, that is," she said.

"Do we? You and me?" Kylo asked. His entire being trembled in anticipation of her answer.

Rey studied him carefully. Her eyes traced over his eyes, his hair, his ears, his jaw, his lips, his nose, and back up to his eyes. "I think so."

Kylo let a long deep breath he had not realized he had been holding. "Good," Kylo said. It was too soon to kiss her, but that did not mean it was too soon to be close. He stepped into the gap between them slightly, narrowing the distance. "Let's see each other again."

Rey nodded. "I think that, as this planet has a young force user, it would make sense that we both visit to keep an eye on her and train her when she's willing."

"Together?" Kylo asked.

"Together," Rey confirmed, stepping so close to him that she had to crane her neck up to maintain eye contact, and their chests brushed each other with each breath.

"I can do that," Kylo said.

"Good," Rey said. She closed her eyes and leaned into him with her arms loose at her sides. "May I stay like this?

"May we continue in my ship?" Kylo asked. As much as he was enjoying having Rey lean on him, he wanted to change into something that hadn't been soaked in the ocean, and it was rapidly getting dark now. "It's warmer there, and we could spend more time together."

"That sounds nice," Rey said. "By the way, what were those glass drawings in the sand? They were your doing, right? How did you make them? They were amazing!"

Kylo grinned and launched into an explanation, and they returned to his ship hand-in-hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss the beach. Please review!


	3. Fool’s Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn dresses as Kylo Ren to prank Rey into a panic and uncovers the truth of her feelings instead.

Finn struck a pose for Poe as Poe doubled over laughing in the otherwise empty lounge room of the battle cruiser the Resistance was currently stationed on. The few months that had passed since the Battle of Crait had treated the Resistance well, allowing them ample resources and recruits during a period when the First Order largely left them alone.

“I can’t believe you dug up that Kylo Ren get-up!” Poe gasped out. “Where did you find the mask? It looks just like the one he wears on the holos. The whole outfit looks right… I mean, if I hadn’t known you were under there, I probably would have soiled myself.”

“Costume shop,” Finn said proudly. He brandished the black cape that came with it and then bowed. “Discounted too. I thought I might give Rey a proper fright today since it’s Fool’s Day.”

Poe sobered a bit at that. “You sure about that? She might kill you before you get the chance to tell her it’s you. I mean, Kylo Ren kidnapped and tortured her. You sure she’ll even find it funny after?”

Finn chuckled and took off the helmet. “It’s Rey. She can take a joke. Besides, she’s got it coming after she woke me in a panic saying there were rathtar loose on the ship. She had gotten BB-8 to project tentacle shadows on my window screen and everything and laughed her tail off at me when I fell out of bed screaming.”

Poe crossed his arms and grinned. “Yea? So how did you sound when you were screaming?”

Finn glowered. “Like a little girl. You got a problem with that?” 

Poe laughed. “Not at all. Just keeping you honest. So what’s the plan?”

“Well, I happen to know she’s taking a nap after training so hard this morning, so I thought I’d just slip into her room and wake her up dressed like this,” Finn explained. “You want to come?”

“You mean, do I have a death wish? No, I choose life. Make sure to tell me how it goes after though.”

“Absolutely,” Finn said. 

A few minutes later…

Finn stood inside Rey’s room with the helmet back on and twitchy fingers. Yes, he wanted to give Rey a good scare, but Poe’s words had set doubt in his heart. He knew she would forgive him, but was using the image of Kylo Ren to spook her going too far? 

He leaned against the door and crossed his ankles as he considered Rey’s history with Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren had kidnapped her on Takodana, of course, and then she and Finn had both fought Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base. Not much later, she had invaded the Supremacy alone, killed the Supreme Leader, and knocked out Kylo Ren in the process. He had asked her once why she hadn’t just killed him then, and apparently some jedi thing stayed her hand at the time. Whatever. Well, she shouldn’t be TOO scared of someone she defeated in combat before.

Finn grinned and stepped forward, trying to think of some appropriate way to wake Rey so he wouldn’t have to stand there forever. He had overdone the morning training too. He looked around the room and failed to find anything inspiring. With a shrug, he knocked on the door despite already being inside.

Rey sat upright in a heartbeat, eyes wide and staring at him. Finn grinned underneath the mask, waiting for her inevitable panic. 

It didn’t come.

“Ben?” Rey said instead. She yawned and closed her eyes. “I thought I told you not to bother me when I’m sleeping,” she said. Without another word, she flopped back down and curled away from him.

Finn’s smile faltered, and dread filled his stomach. Something was wrong. This was not how Rey was supposed to react to her arch enemy, the leader of the First Order. This was especially not how she should react to having him in her bedroom. And calling him Ben? What was up with that? Who was Ben? Maybe she was confused? Hallucinating? Maybe he misheard her, and she had said Finn… which meant she had seen right through the disguise. It made sense, and he felt his heart calm down. Of course, he couldn’t fool her, she was a jedi.

“Okay, okay, you got me,” Finn said, pulling off the mask.

Rey flipped over and stared at him wide-eyed in horror. “Finn!?” she said, pulling her legs over the bedside. “I thought you were…” Her entire face blushed bright red, and she looked away.

Finn froze, and the dread came right back over his heart. She hadn’t recognized him… she had genuinely thought he was someone else… Ben, who apparently looked just like Kylo Ren, or maybe Ben was Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was probably a nickname, now that Finn thought about it, but how would Rey know Kylo Ren’s real name? And why was she perfectly okay with that monster being in her bedroom?

What had he missed?

“Rey,” Finn said carefully. She still avoided his eyes, and he sighed and sat the helmet down on her nightstand, then sat down next to her. “We’re best friends, right?”

Rey nodded, but still avoided looking at him.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Rey trembled, and she shook her head as tears slipped down. Holy stars, he had stepped on some kind of landmine with this attempt to prank her.

He took a deep breath, trying to process what he really knew. He had seen Kylo Ren kidnap her himself, and they had fought together on Starkiller Base, but afterwards… “Something else happened, didn’t it? On the Supremacy?”

Rey took several steadying breaths and nodded. “And before, but Finn,” she said, finally looking him in the eye. “You can’t tell anyone. They’ll think I’m crazy. They would never trust me again.”

Finn’s face twisted in confusion. “What? Rey, you’re our hero. Our own personal jedi who saved us from annihilation at Crait. How could they not trust you? We would all be dead if it weren’t for you.”

Rey shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I did. They still wouldn’t trust me again.”

Finn took Rey’s chin gently and directed her towards him. “Look at me, Rey. Whatever you did, however crazy it was… it can be forgiven, assuming it even needs forgiving. I mean, I was a former stormtrooper, and they forgave me. How much worse could you be? I mean, it’s not like you fell in love with him or something, is it?”

Then tension slipped away from Rey’s body, and she stared at him with the most vulnerable, grief-stricken eyes he had ever seen on a person. “Oh no, no, no… it’s not possible… Rey, it doesn’t even make sense. When would you have gotten to know him? I mean, you barely spent anytime together, and most of it was when he was interrogating and torturing you… Oh no, this isn’t one of those, um, what’s it called… one of those stockholm syndrome things, is it?”

“What?” Rey asked, genuinely confused.

“You know, where you think you’re in love with your captor because it helps you survive?”

“No!” Rey protested. “No, I had no feelings for him when I was his prisoner… Well, nothing beyond disgust and pity.”

Finn frowned. “Then when!?”

Rey took Finn’s hand then and squeezed it. “You can’t tell anyone, Finn. You know that, right? Not even Poe or Leia. They wouldn’t understand.”

“Rey, I don’t even understand, but I do trust you,” he said, squeezing her hand back even as he feared what she would share. “I promise not to tell them though.” Whether he would keep that promise would depend on what she shared, but she didn’t need to know that. If she was in danger, he needed to know.

Rey nodded and took a deep breath. “Ben, Kylo Ren, that is, and I are connected. Through the force, that is.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “No matter where we are, we can feel each other’s presence. Sometimes, we can see and hear each other too.” She opened her eyes and looked at Finn. “It’s why I wasn’t surprised to see Kylo Ren in my room. He’s appeared before me in here many times before.”

Finn’s jaw dropped. “Many times… wait, so you two are, like, in regular contact?”

Rey nodded. “I’ve never told him anything that could betray the Resistance, and naturally, he’s never given me anything I could use against the First Order, but we see each other. We chat, sometimes, though it’s been rough since Crait.”

Finn’s thoughts raced as he tried to process that his best friend was so deeply entangled with their primary enemy. “How long?”

Rey sighed. “Since I went to Master Luke. I was terrified out of my skin the first time it happened… tried to shoot him. My blaster didn’t do any damage though. I’m not sure he even felt it. He tried to use the connection to locate Master Luke, but the force doesn’t work through it. We could only exchange words, and so we began talking. We became friends, of a sort.”

Finn grimaced. “Friends? With that monster!?”

Rey chuckled. “I called him that once too, and he didn’t argue it. Monster or not, though, he knew how lonely I was, Finn, and he was lonely too. He needed someone to believe in him, just like I needed someone to believe in me, and… I don’t know, Finn. It felt right. Getting to know him, trusting him, being with him… it felt right. I even had a vision of us working together.”

Finn shook his head in disbelief, and yet, he could see it. Rey had essentially been alone on that planet, and both she and Kylo Ren were all-powerful. “Hard to imagine him opening up to anyone. No offense, Rey, but he scares the living daylights out of me.”

Rey giggled softly. “I know. He scared me too, but he is a lost soul under that mask. He saved me, you know. When I went on the Supremacy, the Supreme Leader ordered Ben to kill me. He killed the Supreme Leader instead, saving my life. We then fought the guard off back-to-back.” She smiled and blushed. “It felt like we were an extension of each other, the way we moved together.”

Finn found himself blushing. The way Rey talked about it made his own explorations in intimacy with Rose feel like child’s play. “Must have been something,” he finally said after clearing his throat with a cough. “So where did it go wrong?”

The smile fell from Rey’s face. “He invited me to rule the galaxy with him.”

Finn’s brows pinched together in contemplation. If Kylo Ren had killed the Supreme Leader to save Rey and then offered her to rule with him, he must have loved Rey too. Strange, but Finn knew how easy Rey was to fall for. He could see it, especially for a monster of a powerful force-user who likely never had anyone to empathize with before. “That doesn’t sound like a bad thing. I mean, you could do a lot of good from that kind of position of power, especially if he’s head-over-heels for you.”

Rey shook her head and tears streaked down. “He wanted me to abandon the Resistance for it… abandon them to their deaths. Finn, he was in a position to save them. We weren’t on Crait yet. All he had to do was order his ships to stop firing, and he refused. He told me to let them die. I couldn’t. We fought… there was an explosion. I recovered first and slipped away, and then there was Crait, where he tried to kill all of us.” A sob shook her body, and Rey leaned on Finn’s shoulder. “If he were really head-over-heels for me, he would’ve helped me. If he loved me at all, he wouldn’t have tried to kill me after.”

Maybe, Finn thought. Then again, hearts worked in mysterious ways, and rejection could drive someone to do quite a few things they would otherwise regret. Still, he had zero interest in encouraging Rey to pursue someone who was so incredibly dangerous and cruel. She deserved better. Maybe someone like Poe, who had always fought for side of the Resistance and been kind to those he cared for. Maybe he could set those two up on a date or something after this. He had tried several times before with no luck. Poe was interested, but Rey had always declined. Then again, now that he knew what her hang-up had been, maybe he could talk her through it.

“It’s so painful seeing him now,” Rey said. “And I’m constantly terrified someone will find out and think I’m betraying the Resistance, but I can’t control it… I don’t even want to see him, but I don’t know how to make the connection go away.”

That’s right. Rey and Kylo Ren were still interacting. “You’re sure you’re not accidentally leaking secrets to him?”

“Yes,” Rey said. “He doesn’t even ask me anything about the Resistance when the force connects us. He asks about me.”

Finn’s thoughts froze. That sounded entirely too much like Kylo Ren still cared for her. He shuddered. “Is that so? I wonder why,” he said, trying to play it cool while he dug for more information. As much as he hated it, if Kylo Ren did still care for Rey, the Resistance could use that against him.

Rey shrugged. “I don’t really know, Finn. Before everything changed, I would have thought he was worried about me, but he tried to kill me, Finn. It doesn’t make any sense. All I can figure is he’s trying to find out my weaknesses.”

Finn’s heart sank. Somehow, he knew this wasn’t the case. “What do you tell him?”

Rey’s voice became small, somehow. “I tell him to leave me alone and stop bothering me,” she whispered, and more tears streaked out. “And he does… for that connection, anyway, and then when we meet again, he asks again. Over and over, for months now.”

Finn felt nauseous. The First Order’s strange disinterest in the Resistance’s activities the last few months… Kylo Ren’s concern and respect for Rey in their talks… It made sense. That monster definitely still cared for Rey, and she obviously still cared for him or she wouldn’t be so worked up over this. “What would you do?”

“What?” Rey asked.

“What would you do if he did love you? If he was only asking about you because he cared for you?”

Rey turned white and shook her head. “I have no idea. I can’t imagine it, Finn. He wanted me dead.”

Finn sighed. “I know that, Rey, but what would you do? If the next time you two met, he knelt down, apologized for how he behaved towards you, and begged your forgiveness, would you give it? Would you still tell him to leave you alone?”

Rey trembled. “Don’t tease me, Finn.”

“Would you give him another chance?” Finn said. His mind was racing with ideas, and he needed to know.

Rey sighed and withdrew from him to hug herself. “I would,” she whispered.

Finn nodded to himself quickly. “Thanks, Rey. Thanks for trusting me with this. No one should have to endure what you did alone.”

“And you won’t tell anyone else?” Rey asked.

Finn smiled at her, though his heart grieved. “I promised, didn’t I?”

Finn stayed a while longer, talking about Rose’s disastrous training and Poe’s latest antics to calm her before leaving. After he closed her door, he marched directly to the bridge to speak with General Organa.

“Finn, what’s the matter?” General Organa said on seeing how pale he looked.

“I think I can end the war, but I'll have to break a promise,” he said. “Come on, you’ll want to have this talk somewhere private.”

...

A few weeks later, Finn and Poe were hanging out alone in the lounge again. “You know, you never did tell me how Rey reacted to your Kylo Ren costume,” Poe said. “Then again, considering what’s happened the last few days, I’m guessing she wasn’t as freaked out as you thought she would be.”

“No, she wasn’t,” Finn confirmed. 

“I still can’t believe it though… I mean, Kylo Ren is, like, evil incarnate, right? He’s kidnapped and tortured me… kidnapped and tortured Rey… killed countless people… and yet has a soft spot for Rey? I mean, if he were going to have a soft spot for anyone, I suppose Rey makes sense, but still… enough so to end the war on the condition that she works with him to restore order? And he’s even following her suggestions? I thought for sure it was just a trick to lure her out and kill her at first, but he’s really doing what she asks, and she seems so… happy.”

Finn smiled at that. He still thought Rey deserved a better partner, but if Kylo Ren was where she found happiness, he wasn’t going to fight that.

“It just doesn’t make sense. You’ve seen the way they act together. It’s only been one week since the treaty was formed, and yet they’re acting like lovers. Holding hands, sneaking kisses, giggling together… when did they get to know each other like that?”

Finn shrugged. He had to tell General Organa the truth to get things moving, but he was still Rey’s best friend, and he would not betray her completely. “Who knows?”

“Not me, that’s for sure,” Poe said. “It’s so freaky, but I guess all’s well that ends well, right? And we’ll still beat Kylo Ren up if he ever hurts her, right?”

Finn nodded. “Definitely.”


	4. The Man and the Mask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: The Man and the Mask
> 
> Date Written: Apr 14, 2019 (Added to AO3 on June 14)
> 
> Rating: K+ (everyone)
> 
> Description: Rey is attacked by a masked Kylo Ren, but not all is as it seems.

Rey gazed around her at the forest with her lit lightsaber out. Birds sang in the distance, and a warm gentle breeze rustled the shadows from the high tree canopy under the afternoon sun on Yavin 4. If it weren't for the overwhelming sensation of someone's desire to kill her, Rey would have found the scene beautiful and pleasant.

As is, she just wanted to survive it.

"Come out!" she demanded with a snarl. "I know you're there."

Her heart thudded in her chest as she reviewed the possibility that it could be anyone other than Ben Solo, no, Kylo Ren. They had parted badly on the Supremacy months ago when they last met, but he had never wanted to kill her before. Even then, he had wanted to conquer her, not destroy her.

Except, he had been leading the First Order when they tried to shoot her out of the sky in the Falcon.

Still, he was the only one stealthy enough to stalk her in broad daylight, and he did have reason to kill her. They had parted ways and returned to where they started: enemies.

There was a sense of deja vu, and Rey realized that these woods were not unlike the ones on Takodana where Kylo Ren had first captured her. However, now she was strong. She knew both the monster and the man under the mask, and she did expect him to be masked, all the holos showed Kylo Ren in his mask once more, covered in red-filled cracks as if it had been shattered and welded back together again. Regardless, Rey could face him now.

She hoped.

A blade buzzed in her periphery, and Rey pivoted to face it with her own blade. "Hello, Kylo Ren," she said in a voice filled with bitter frustration as the tall dark figure stepped out of the woods.

"Rey," Kylo Ren said, the voice modulated once more. Rey's hairs stood on end at the uncanny resemblance of the Kylo Ren before her to the one she had grown to know so well. Logically, she knew they were the same person, but the modulation box had been damaged at some point, changing his voice frequently in the holos. He was slimmer now too. Perhaps the stress of leading the First Order had interfered with his health. Even his posture seemed different…

"I won't let you win," Rey said, holding her lightsaber high as she entered a stance.

"I didn't expect you to, but I will defeat you," said Kylo Ren, and he charged her.

Kylo was stronger and heavier. Rey could not take a direct charge. She dodged as he approached and spun to hit him with her hilt just below his ribs. Kylo lost his balance for a half second, then came back with a hard swing aimed at her neck. Rey blocked it, but fell backwards onto the ground.

Kylo didn't hesitate. He immediately stomped forward and swung his blade down, just missing her as she rolled to the side to dodge. Rey scrambled to get up, but he was already swinging down again before she could get to her knees. Rey winced, expecting the end, as the blade came within inches of her.

She never felt the blade.

Abruptly, the blade pulled away from her, and Rey wasted no time crawling away from it and looking back to see what happened.

There were two Kylo Rens: The masked one who attacked her and another one, unmasked. Both tall, fierce, and dressed in black.

Rey's jaw dropped as she tried to make sense of the scene before her. The masked Kylo Ren stood rigid with his arms locked behind him, much like hers had been on Takodana when she had been captured. Behind the masked Kylo Ren, stood the unmasked Kylo Ren with eyes glaring at the masked man and a long arm out grasping the air in front of him.

"I found you," the unmasked Kylo Ren growled. He straightened his posture, walked up to the masked man, and carefully removed the mask to reveal a young, blond man with freckles on his cheeks. "Bye, Kava Ren." Kylo Ren carefully extracted his still-lit blade from the blond man's grasp and beheaded the young man in one easy swing.

Rey gaped as Kylo Ren, or should she call him Ben? Whatever name he used, he did not even look at her before turned off the lightsaber, attaching it to his belt, and turning away.

"Ben!" Rey cried, more out of disbelief than with any real idea of what she would say to him. Had he somehow not seen her or had he chosen to ignore her presence?

He immediately turned around and met her eyes with a stare so vibrant and vulnerable that Rey's heart burned at its sight. "Rey," he breathed.

No surprise marked his face, so he had known she was there and chosen to walk away. It hurt. She could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest from where she sat, but he did not move an inch. He simply watched her, as if terrified that she might flee if he so much as flinched. Did he think she wanted him to avoid her?

Rey looked to the body of the man who had posed as Kylo Ren and then back at the real one. "I don't understand… I thought you were under the mask."

"I am no longer Kylo Ren," he said, and some of the tension fell from him as he shifted his gaze to the body. "That name was stolen from me alongside my mask and blade following the battle of Crait. They meant to take my life as well, but I escaped."

"He had the force," Rey said, still confused.

"They all did. Hux turned my knights against me, and they took turns wearing the mantle, so to speak, while running the First Order. I've been hunting them down ever since. It's done now, though. This was the last one. My knights are no more."

Rey absorbed this and folded her legs in front of her. On realizing her lightsaber was still lit, she turned it off and put it away. She felt no hostility from him and saw little reason to keep up her guard. If he wanted her dead, he would not have saved her from his former knight. "Then are you Kylo Ren again?"

"No, that name was tainted by the actions of my knights. Hux was a snivelling, weak man, but he had his uses. I would have never killed him, nor done many of the other deeds my knights took on when they no longer had anyone but each other to keep them in check." He looked back to Rey and smirked shyly. "You may call me Ben, if you need a name."

Rey smiled at the realization the man she cared for was still very alive inside him. "Thank you, Ben. So what's next? Are you going to join the Resistance and take down the rest of the First Order?"

Ben chuckled and shook his head. "Hardly, Rey. I just destroyed the First Order's current leadership. They need me again, whether or not they want me." He looked away. "Many of them won't even realize a change in leadership took place. I will never wear a mask again, and this thing," he said, looking at his own mask, "I will melt until it is past recognition, and I will reclaim my birth name of Ben Solo, though it will serve the First Order. It is my truth, and I will not allow myself to be replaced again."

Rey's smile faltered as the hope that had just budded back to life was snuffed back out. Her heart felt heavy, and it was with trembling limbs she carefully pulled herself up to standing again. What should she say now that Ben was at once so close and so far?

Were they not enemies again?

Rey looked to the lightsaber on her belt and back at Ben. His eyes had followed her motions, and he offered her a sad smile.

"I saw you got it fixed. I'm proud of you. Repairing a lightsaber is nearly as dangerous and challenging as building one," Ben said.

Rey shook her head in her mounting frustration at how impossible things were between them. "I don't want to fight, Ben."

Ben was silent for a moment as he gazed at her thoughtfully. "It's your choice," he finally said.

"What's that mean?"

"I won't attack you again. If necessary, I will defend myself against you, but not to the point of hurting you. Rey, I meant what I said before."

Rey looked away. Ben had said so many different things to her at this point, she didn't even want to ask which one. "Then what? We remain benevolent enemies? That's not how things work, Ben!"

"Yet it's how they have always worked between us, Rey, at least where I was concerned. I wanted to teach you from the moment I found you."

The words Rey wanted to forget came back to her, and her heart sank as she questioned if she had misunderstood. "Only to teach me?"

"No," Ben said in a deep, raspy voice. His gaze somehow both sharpened and softened as he took in her appearance, her eyes, her lips… his eyes stayed there longest, and then he looked away with ears blushed red. "But I do not hold your rejection against you. I was… rash… and… severe. Too severe, to expect you to abandon your friends." He took a deep breath and stared at the canopy above them. "I also understand why you may find my path objectionable."

Rey's eyes burned with tears. She didn't want to talk about this, and yet, she didn't want to leave Ben this way. "Ben," she said, and realized she didn't know what to say next. She needed more time with him to sort out her thoughts. "Ben, would you run with me?"

His eyebrows shot up. "A run?" He paused, confused. "You want to run… with me? This isn't some sort of elaborate trap?"

"It's not a trap. And yes, I want to run with you," Rey said with confidence. Running had always helped her clear her mind.

"Lead the way," he said.

Rey looked down at the body. "Won't it be a problem if that's found?"

Ben shook his head and gestured for her to start moving.

Rey took a deep breath, considered the original reason she had come to Yavin 4, and fell into a brisk run to the East, away from her ship and toward the abandoned Jedi temple on the planet.

Ben fell into step beside her, occasionally slipping behind her when the trees grew too dense to stay at her side only to return at her side when the path widened again.

"You came to explore the temple?" Ben asked after a bit.

Rey nodded. "I want to learn more about those before me."

A silence followed, as if Ben were reluctant to comment on this. Rey considered the possible reasons that may be and came to a realization that caused her to stop in her tracks. Ben stopped as well, gazing at her with calm and an even breath despite their run. "You've already raided them for everything I could use, haven't you?"

Ben sheepishly looked away. "It's possible I may have missed something." He looked back to her. "You are welcome to what lore I found."

"And the artifacts?" Rey asked, for she had read enough in Luke's books to know several objects of power had existed that required the force to use.

Ben shook his head. "I will not hurt you, but that doesn't mean I will give you the means to destroy me and everything I have worked for."

Rey gritted her teeth, seeing his reason for withholding them but also wishing she could see the artifacts for herself. "Will you prevent me from keeping what I find today?"

Ben looked at her for a long moment, then shook his head. "I would like your time with me to be absent of fear."

Rey regarded Ben as her heart exploded yet again in turmoil. He was more man than monster now. Perhaps he was more man than he had ever been. "What do you intend to do with the First Order and the Resistance?" she asked to clear her aching heart. She wanted to be with the man before her, but she knew she couldn't while they were at war.

"I haven't decided," he answered quickly. "Who leads the Resistance? Would they be open to conversation with me?"

Rey shook her head. "It's a Bothan named Grin´dayla. He's a radical. Wants everyone in the First Order dead. He even tried to get Finn on trial for his history as a stormtrooper. It took both his status as a war hero and the support of nearly every other war hero in the Resistance to spare him." Her face fell with the memory, but her eyes lit up again a moment later. "Your mother is second-in-command though."

Ben smiled even as his eyes hardened. "So if something were to happen to Grin'dayla…"

Rey's eyes widened, and she stepped back from Ben, realizing exactly what her seed of an idea was sprouting in his mind. Should she discourage him? Grin'dayla had already imprisoned several other Resistance members on the basis that they had worked for the First Order or the Empire in the past, and no amount of explanation or status would protect her if the Bothan ever discovered her true history with Ben. Even General Organa regularly received harassment for simply being Ben's mother, though she stood against everything the First Order had done.

"It's not just the stormtrooper. He's a danger to you and my mother too," Ben said, correctly guessing what had been on her mind.

Unbidden tears formed in Rey's eyes as she realized she was effectively sealing the Bothan's fate by not denying the truth, and yet, relief came with the reality that Ben would take the steps to protect them that she was unable to take herself.

"Don't be cruel," Rey found herself saying. She might not discourage this death, but she could discourage dragging it out.

Ben's face filled with warmth for her, and his hand reached out to touch her and froze as he remembered himself. "I'm no sadist, Rey. I'll make it quick."

"Thank you," Rey said, her shoulders dropping with the release of tension she hadn't known she was holding.

"You're welcome," Ben said. "Thank you for letting me know I could help."

Rey laughed bitterly. "He wouldn't even be wrong to suspect me as a traitor… but what he's doing is wrong. He's a monster."

"You called me a monster once," Ben said, tilting his head to the side as if to study her better.

Rey sighed. "You had seemed so heartless then, but I was wrong. You are ruthless, but it's from too much heart, not too little. You're trying to do the right thing, even if it's misguided. Grin'dayla only cares about staying in power."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps Grin'dayla is acting out of the misguided notion that the Resistance needs him to be in power. Even Snoke did what he thought was best."

Rey cringed. She did not want to consider that Grin'dayla, whom she couldn't stand, may not be that different from Ben, whom she loved. Rey froze in horror. Did she love Ben?

"Don't fear, Rey. I do not need to be convinced that he is a monster to eliminate him. It is enough that he threatens those I love," Ben said, misunderstanding her sudden fear.

Rey's heart lurched at hearing his confession. She had suspected as much when he asked her to be at his side, then doubted it again when the battle of Crait took place. Just this morning she had wondered if he wished to kill her, and she couldn't have been more wrong. He loved her. Her vision swam, and the colors seemed too bright as she realized what this could mean for both of them. She stumbled slightly and found Ben's arm wrapped around her waist, holding her up against him.

"What's wrong, Rey?" he asked. Nothing but concern was in his eyes, and she realized he had no idea of her feelings, and why should he? She had tried to kill him and left him to die several times now, and she had rejected his offer on the Supremacy.

"I love you," she blurted out. She watched his eyes widen in disbelief and felt the shock of her words throughout his body as it stiffened next to her. "Ben, I love you," she repeated, wanting to make sure he understood.

"You love me," he said in a voice laced with doubt and confusion.

"Yes, I love you," Rey repeated, feeling a bit frustrated now at having to repeat herself again.

"But on the Supremacy, you… You really love me?"

"Yes! I didn't reject you because I didn't care for you, Ben. You were asking me to abandon my friends though, and I couldn't…"

"You're sure? That you love me? This isn't some sort of cruel joke?"

Rey glared at him now and wrenched free of him, furious that he found her confession so hard to believe. "Yes, I love you! How could you think I would joke about something like-"

"May I kiss you?" he asked, interrupting her. He bit his bottom lip, wetting it. The moisture glistened in the gentle forest light.

"What!?" Rey cried, backing away quickly even as she gazed at his lips.

Ben rolled his eyes and stalked closer to her, though he stopped at a respectable distance. "If I love you, and you love me, then a kiss between us would not be very objectionable, would it? May I kiss you?"

"We're still at war, Ben," Rey reminded him and herself, trying to keep herself from becoming any more entangled with him. What had she been thinking letting him know her feelings? And yet, she couldn't quite regret it. There was something right about letting him know. Her eyes fell to his lips again. There was something right about being with him.

"We've been at war this entire time, Rey," he said, and his voice turned her name into a gentle caress to her ears.

Rey found herself closing the gap between them and gazing up at him. She had somehow forgotten how very much taller he was than her. Ben reached up and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, and Rey found herself leaning into his hand and closing her eyes in pleasure at his touch.

"I love you. Do you love me, Rey?" he asked. His voice shook, and his hand cautiously moved to behind her neck, gently angling her face up at his.

"I love you, Ben," Rey answered. Every nerve in her body buzzed with anticipation. She had been shocked by his request, but...

"May I kiss you?" he asked again.

Rey nodded and reached up to help guide him as he leaned over to kiss her gently on the lips with closed eyes. They were rougher than hers, but they still felt like heaven, and Rey whimpered when he removed them a few seconds later.

"Again," she insisted. Ben's eyes widened, but he complied, and Rey deepened the kiss between them until she forgot about the war. When she finally pulled away for breath, she closed her eyes and leaned against his chest. "I don't want to leave you again."

"Then don't," Ben said, wrapping his arms around her.

"But my mission…"

"Which mission?" Ben asked. "The mission to research the jedi? Have you forgotten that I can help you? Did you have another mission?"

Rey paused, wondering if she should tell him when he was still the enemy of the Resistance, and yet, she had already betrayed them in so many ways, and she did not believe he would abuse the knowledge. "Your mother asked me to find you. She feared at the changes she saw following Crait and hoped I might help you find the light again."

Ben squeezed her gently and gazed at her. "It seems that staying close to me would be to your advantage for both of your missions. I will help you search the ruins. I will show you what I have discovered, including the artifacts, if you swear not to use them against me. I will keep you safe, and when the time comes, I will kill Grin'dayla and discuss terms with my mother as the new leader of the Resistance." He reached his hand up to her scalp and massaged it underneath her tied-up hair. "Please, Rey, don't leave me. We can be together."

"I suppose I shouldn't neglect my missions," Rey said. Rey's body trembled in excitement, and she hugged him tightly. "I'll stay with you, but I will need to report back to the Resistance, and I am not part of the First Order. I'm not accepting your earlier offer."

"I understand," Ben said, hugging her back. "I just want you by my side."


	5. Chu!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Chu!
> 
> Date Added: June 13, 2019
> 
> Rating: K+ (everyone)
> 
> Description: Kylo hears strange sounds disrupting his day... almost like Rey sneezing.

Kylo guided his X-wing down the canal of the Death Star simulator and steadied his thumb on the trigger. He had ordered the simulation built to test himself against his late uncle's skills out of the frustration that he could no longer test himself against the man himself.

Luke Skywalker had made this shot with nothing more than the force to guide him, and he had destroyed one of the greatest weapons of the Empire in the process. Kylo had learned to perfect the shot and made it everyday to demonstrate his superiority.

At least, that's what Kylo told himself.

Just like every other time, Kylo closed his eyes as he approached the mark. He reached into the force, waiting for the exact right moment.

"Chu!" exclaimed a familiar, feminine voice.

Kylo's eyes opened in shock and bright red lights flashed all around him as the simulation announced his failure. He blinked, growled at the evidence he had been shocked into veering off-course into the Death Star itself, and climbed out of the simulation, reaching through the force to find which woman dared interrupt his training.

No one was there. No one, not male or female, was in that part of the ship with him. He scanned the logs of the simulation, trying to identify what sound recordings had been used, but nothing was amiss there. Frowning, he cautiously reached out via the force to that forbidden place where he had once been welcome. As usual, since Crait, he found a wall.

The voice had sounded like hers… Of course, there was no way she would reach out to him again.

Kylo rolled his neck to release some tension and climbed back into the simulator, restarting it and clearing his thoughts of phantom voices. This time, there were no distractions, and he got the shot.

Kylo forgot about the odd sound as the morning went on. Training and meetings aplenty distracted him. Even when a dull meeting between General Hux and the financial officers went a full hour beyond schedule, Kylo's thoughts were not on the strange sound he had heard that morning. Granted, he admitted the new super-weapon plans Hux had come up with were rather… audacious? daunting? Ingenious? Not inspiring. Kylo had never felt less inspired to kill populations en masse. Even Hux had admitted in private that the weapon was wholly impractical for their strategy and had primarily been introduced to give the engineers a challenge and convince the First Order that Kylo and Hux had not strayed too greatly from Snoke's warpath since taking over.

They had.

Regardless, the financial officers argued that the costs were beyond what could be budgeted. Cheap insults had flown, and Kylo struggled to stay awake for what he ultimately determined was nonsense, given that Hux had never intended to build the weapon in the first place. However, justifying the budget for the weapon's construction would serve as an excellent excuse for avoiding other military excursions. Kylo was tired of the war. He was tired of the First Order.

He was tired.

He stifled a yawn when he heard it again.

"Chu!"

Kylo sprang up from his slouch and stared wide-eyed at the other men, who gaped back at him uncertainly. Hux recovered first. "Ren, what on-"

"Shh," Kylo said. He looked around frantically. "Did you hear it?"

"Hear what?" one of the other men asked with some consternation. They looked at each other in concern, and Kylo overheard one of them mutter that their new Supreme Leader must be touched in the head. Hux kept his eyes steady on Kylo though, ignoring the men.

"Ren," Hux said after a moment of silence. "Is this about… her?"

"Her? Who's her?" a different man asked. This broke briefly into a discussion on what woman could possibly have claimed Kylo's thoughts when Kylo reached his hand up and put every member of the financial team in force choke holds.

Silence fell across the room. Hux took in what happened to the other men and lifted an eyebrow at Kylo.

"Now that I have your attention, everyone but Hux can get out," Kylo said calmly, and he released his grip. The other men collapsed, gasping for breath, and then scattered from the room, leaving Kylo Ren alone with his second-in-command. Hux frowned and carefully approached Kylo. "Is she here?"

"I knew I would regret telling you about her," Kylo muttered, rubbing his brow.

Hux rolled his eyes. "Enough whining. I need to know if you present an active security risk. Tell me, Ren. Is Rey spying on us through you?"

Kylo sighed, counted several deep breaths, and explored his bond through the force. "The way to her remains walled shut, as you know it's been since Crait."

Hux sneered. "Yet you heard something. What did you hear?"

Kylo pursed his lips. "I don't know for certain it was her." Hux rolled his eyes at this. "I don't, Hux. I only heard a brief high-pitched sound… it sounded like 'chu.' That was all."

"Chu?" Hux asked. "Like… Ah-chu? Like a sneeze?"

Kylo considered this and carefully nodded. As he and Hux faced each other, he saw Rey flash into existence behind Hux with her hand to her nose and her eyes squeezed shut.

"Chu!" Rey said, and she disappeared again.

Hux glanced at where Kylo had seen Rey. Upon finding nothing of interest, he glanced back to Kylo, whose eyebrows were pinched together in thought. "You saw her, didn't you?"

"I saw her," Kylo confirmed. "She did, in fact, appear to be mid-sneeze, and then she disappeared again."

Hux frowned. "Did she see you?"

Kylo shook his head. "Her eyes were closed. If I'm not mistaken, she may be connecting our bond without realizing it when she sneezes. Or, perhaps, she struggles more to maintain the wall when physically distressed."

Hux rubbed his chin in thought. "Which is more likely? After all, the former is a mild nuisance, but nothing truly problematic. However, the latter… Ren, you're suggesting this bond you share with the scavenger may constantly be open were she not fighting to keep it blocked. The implications of her having such easy access to you, and from you to her…"

"I know," Kylo snapped. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I don't know which it is though. Our bond had been growing stronger before Crait, so it's possible it became constant, but the effort necessary for her to block me constantly…"

Hux folded his hands behind his back and straightened his posture. "You still care for her."

Kylo flinched. He did, but what more could he do? He had already stalled the war. He had tried sending invitations to meet with her through traditional means. He had an approximate idea of her location at all times thanks to tracking the Resistance, but he could hardly just walk in and demand she give him another chance that even he wasn't sure he deserved. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rey pop into existence again. "Chu!" she said, and she disappeared. Kylo gazed longingly at where she had appeared.

Hux rolled his eyes. "Well, as both your friend and your second-in-command, I strongly recommend that you let her go."

"I don't know how," Kylo said. "It's been three months since Crait, and I think about her every day."

Hux groaned loudly enough that Kylo knew he was meant to hear it. "You do understand that when you asked me to be your confidant, I was expecting something slightly more interesting than whining about your pathetic failure of a love life."

"Hux," Kylo growled.

Hux shrugged his shoulders. "Then do something. We both know you're no longer the creature who would fling me across the room in rage. Does she know?"

"You know I've had no contact with her since Crait," Kylo said.

"Chu!" Rey said, flashing in and out of existence. Kylo moved closer to where she had been, wondering if he should touch her the next time, just to reassure himself that she was real.

"Perhaps we could kidnap her," Hux said.

Kylo snorted. "We've been over this. Assuming you could even manage such a task, it's far too dangerous for the First Order, and she wouldn't thank me for it."

"Could you go to her?" Hux asked.

"Not without being taken hostage or killed, and I don't think she would take kindly to what I would have to do to defend myself to reach her."

"Perhaps meet somewhere neutral?" Hux suggested.

"She's ignored all attempts at communication. She won't even talk to me through the bond. Why would she meet me somewhere?"

"Chu!" Rey sneezed in and out of their existence again. This time, she had been so close to Kylo he could smell saltwater in her hair and feel the momentary heat of her body.

"I haven't done anything to deserve it, but I wish she would give me another chance," Kylo said.

Hux sighed and threw his hands up in exasperation. "What is it you force users like to say? May the force be with you?"

"Chu!" Rey said again. Her sneezing seemed to be getting worse, and her face had been red with the effort, and yet she had looked pale elsewhere.

Kylo frowned. Rey was not just sneezing a little, she was sick and getting worse. "Hux, pull together a med kit for treating respiratory infections and bring it to me."

"She does appear to need it, doesn't she?" Hux said.

Kylo nodded as Rey sneezed yet again. "It's the least I can do for her. I just hope she lets me."

Rey's sneezing followed Kylo the rest of his day and progressively grew worse. Sometimes, she had bad coughing fits as well. On at least two occasions, Kylo saw her open her eyes long enough to see him. The look of utter fury she gave him blocked all of his thoughts until she was gone again. He had the med kit now, but he never succeeded in offering it.

Eventually, Kylo gave up accomplishing any other work and retired to the privacy of his room, where Rey's occasional respiratory fits haunted him as he attempted meditation and other forms of relaxation throughout the day. He almost undressed for the shower to help drown out her distractions, but he quickly dropped the idea when he recalled she had sometimes opened her eyes.

Better not to visually assault her when he still wanted her good opinion. He had refused to put on a shirt in the hopes of throwing her off balance back when she thought him a monster, but too much had happened between them since then. He didn't want to do anything that might push her away.

Bedtime came.

Kylo sat fully-clothed on his bed, sighed, kicked his boots off, and fell backwards onto his pillow. The med kit sat unopened on his night table. Rey still had not appeared long enough for him to approach her, and she moved constantly, as if afraid he would catch her if she stayed still. She wasn't wrong, but he only intended to force the med kit on her so that she could treat her cold.

He didn't want to hurt her.

The rage he had felt at her rejection had burned out quickly following the battle at Crait, leaving only the ashes of regret for his actions and a desire to make himself worthy of her, as if such a thing were possible.

He didn't want to hurt her, but she had no reason to know that.

He realized that Rey wouldn't even let herself rest. She had been moving for hours at this point, ensuring he could not get a fix on where she would appear next. Sighing, Kylo forced himself to close his eyes and fall asleep to the sound of Rey's coughing and sneezing fits around the room. Maybe if she knew he was asleep, she might allow herself to rest too.

The room had dimmed for the night cycle when Kylo next opened his eyes. His back was sweating, and a thin, muscular arm was wound tightly around his waist. Someone far too warm shivered against him.

Every nerve in Kylo's body spazzed as he processed that Rey must have snuggled up to him in her sleep. However, his excitement at finally being near her again faded the next moment when he registered how high her body temperature must be. He gently twisted around, verified Rey was there, and touched her forehead to confirm that she had a raging fever. Her teeth chattered as she shivered against him.

Kylo absently stroked her hair before sitting up and reaching for the med kit next to him. Rey whimpered and pulled herself closer to him, resting her head on his thigh and tucking her legs around his own. "Cold," he heard her say in a weak, hoarse voice. "So cold." Her touch was like a firebrand, causing him to sweat instantly from the contact.

"You have a fever, Rey," Kylo said. He dug around in the kit for fever-reducers and opened the bottle of water that had been included. "I'm going to help you sit up and take some medicine to bring your temperature back down."

"So cold," Rey muttered again. She gave no indication she had heard Kylo, but she didn't protest when he wrapped an arm around her waist and hoisted her up to lean against him.

Kylo frowned. He didn't know if she would choke if he put the pills in her mouth while she was so far gone. He didn't even know if she knew how to swallow pills, but she clearly needed medical treatment, and he didn't know what else to do.

"Rey, I'm putting the medicine in your mouth next, it's a pill to lower your temperature, and I'll give you water to help you swallow it, okay?" He gently tucked the pill onto her tongue and brought the water to her fevered lips. The second the liquid made contact, she reacted, drinking greedily and swallowing. "Good girl. That was the first half of the dose. Now for the second half." He repeated his steps, trying not to think about how intimate this felt or how her soft lips felt. She swallowed the second pill and trembled.

"Ben?" she said a moment later. Her eyes flashed open with a burst of adrenaline that faded as quickly as it came. Her eyes drifted shut again. She struggled to open them several more times before giving up and letting them stay closed. "Is that you, Ben?

"Yea, it's me," Kylo said softly. He brushed her soft hair out of her face, tucking it gently behind her ears while she remained propped up against him.

"Are you…" she coughed and took a few steadying breaths. He thought she had drifted off again when she murmured.

"Rest. You're sick," he said. He shimmied backward with her until he could lean against the headboard of his bed. He positioned her to sprawl against him with her head against his chest in a reclined position. Vaguely, he recalled his mother doing something similar to him when he was a little boy. Something about letting the sinuses drain. Rey still coughed off and on, but her coughing seemed to settle some.

"Are you going to kill me?" Rey asked quietly with her eyes closed.

Ben sighed and rested his head on top of hers, nuzzling her gently, wishing the circumstances were different. Wishing they were not at war with each other. Wishing he had never given her reason to fear him. "No, I'm not going to kill you. I'm trying to help you. Sleep."

"I'm scared," she said, her face contorting into a sob, and then she was coughing again.

Kylo winced and waited for the fit to pass. He hugged her to him and kissed the top of her head. "I promise I won't hurt you while you're sick, Rey. Please, trust me on this. You need to rest." He glanced at the med kit next to him and picked it up again to put it within easy reach before rifling through its contents. The fever reducer he was familiar with, but there were several other medicines in there. "Would you like some cough medicine? There's a decongestant in here too." Hux had warned him not to automatically use everything at once when giving him the box, but given Rey's condition, Kylo felt multiple medications may well be justified.

"You have medicine?" Rey asked, her eyes opening as she looked at Kylo for the first time since he had woken with her next to him. She was still very hot to the touch, but the conversation seemed to have made her more alert. "The Resistance was all out."

"Can you lean against my headboard for a moment? I need to make sure I get the dosages right," Kylo said.

"I can't see it. I don't have a headboard where I'm sleeping," Rey said.

Kylo lifted Rey's hand in his and pressed it against his headboard. "Can you see it now?" She nodded. "Good. I'm going to help prop you up." He slid an arm under her knees and his other behind her back and gently lifted her until her back was to the board beside him. He then carefully removed his support, ensuring she slumped against his shoulder instead of onto the bed, before turning to face the predicament of how much of which medicines to give Rey. Thankfully, the remaining medications had liquid forms.

As Kylo worked with Rey to spoon each medication into her mouth, his mind furiously sorted through the different possible explanations for why the Resistance would be lacking such basic medicine and what it could mean for the Resistance and the war as a whole. He was tempted to ask Rey outright, but he feared disturbing her as she was clearly drifting off between each time he administered medicine. He put the med kit back together when he was done and wrapped his arm back around Rey, tucking her into the nook of his shoulder. Her temperature was improving now, as was her cough, and her breaths fell regularly and quietly against him.

Kylo thought over his options for resolving the Resistance's medical supply question and sighed before using the force to summon Hux. A few minutes later, his redheaded general entered Kylo's private bedchamber with only a yawn to betray that the man had likely been asleep when Kylo summoned him.

Hux's jaw dropped slightly upon seeing that Kylo was not alone, and he narrowed his eyes. "Is that..?"

Kylo was mildly surprised Hux could see her, but he nodded and gazed at Rey's sleeping face a moment before returning his attention to Hux. Kylo merely glanced at the spot next to his bed, and Hux approached it quietly before sitting down on the edge. "What is she doing here?" Hux asked in a soft voice.

"The bond. It appears it's constant now. She couldn't keep up the walls while this sick. She's both here and wherever the Resistance is, as am I, I expect," Kylo said. He looked around to see if he could see anything on her end the way he had seen the fire and Luke the one time they touched hands through the bond, but he found nothing unusual.

"Fascinating," Hux said, studying them. "And somewhat disturbing. I suspect, however, that you did not invade my sleep and summon me simply to discuss the mechanics of your force bond."

Kylo grinned wryly at that. "Hardly. She mentioned, before passing out, that the Resistance had no medicine available."

Hux frowned. "Interesting. My most recent intelligence reports that the Resistance has been quiet of late, but nothing to suggest they wouldn't have medicine. However, I have heard rumors of a nasty respiratory plague going through the system where they are located. There are even quarantines preventing departure from certain planets. Perhaps they simply ran out of supplies treating their own?"

"Perhaps," Kylo said, thoughtfully studying Rey. "Hux, how are our supplies?"

Hux sighed. "You want me to see if we can spare a shipment to rescue the Resistance?" Kylo nodded. "Ren, why even bother claiming we're at war with them when you pull measures like this? You're bloody holding the hero of the Resistance in your arms, and instead of trying to kill her or disarm her, you're treating her cold symptoms and giving her back rubs."

"I'm not-" Kylo looked down and realized that he had, indeed, been rubbing her back since she had curled in towards him. She had her right arm wrapped across his waist again as she slept peacefully. He hadn't realized.

"Look, I'll take care of it. I know the scavenger means a lot to you, as does your mother, but you can't keep riding the line like this, Ren. I'm not going to make some big speech about how you're weak for not whole-heartedly wanting to kill your attachments like Snoke did, but you owe it to your people to decide where you stand, where we all stand."

Kylo gave a curt nod, acknowledging Hux's request. He didn't know what to say or do. He had not expected Hux to be such a staunch ally following Crait. They certainly had been at odds during the battle of Crait and during their time under Snoke, but they had since become partners, of a sort. Neither of them had been as bloodthirsty after Snoke's influence had been removed, and the reality that Kylo had strong connections with the two biggest figures in the Resistance curbed their desires to make a serious effort to hunt the ragtag group down.

Still, there was a difference between ignoring your enemy and outright aiding them.

"I can order some chicken soup for her," Hux said into the silence. "For when she wakes up."

Kylo felt a wave of warmth for his red-headed friend and partner in the First Order. Before Rey, he had thought himself lost to the darkness. Before Hux, he had thought himself lost without Rey. It was peculiar having Hux's support, but it made the galaxy a brighter place. "I'm not sure she will stick around to eat once she can shut me out again," Kylo said.

Hux's eyes hardened, and he crossed his arms in front of him. "Ah, so this tender display is not of her choice. I didn't think you were the type to take advantage of a girl, Ren, and a sick one at that."

The warmth Kylo felt evaporated just like that. He glared at Hux, though the man had a point. Rey would never have consented to being held like this by him if she weren't so sick. She had spent half the day evading him during her sneezes, after all, and kept the bond shut to him the three months prior. "I had to hold her upright to give her the medication, Hux."

"And now?" Hux asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Elevation is recommended to let the sinuses drain. My mother used to do it for me when I was a child." Kylo saw the skepticism in Hux's expression and sighed. "Hux, I'm not holding her for my own satisfaction. I may have been a monster in many ways, but I have never been that kind of monster."

Hux studied Kylo a moment before releasing the tension in his eyes. He nodded and dropped his arms to his sides. "Good. I'll order that chicken soup up right away along with quarantines for you and myself. Next time you have a viral guest, please consider warning me before asking me to join you. I would have worn a mask to protect myself."

Kylo grimaced. He had not even thought about the consequences of inviting others into the space. He half considered apologizing to Hux, but he expected such a gesture would only annoy the general.

"Thank you, Hux," Kylo said. Hux nodded and left the room.

Kylo sighed and looked down at Rey to find her eyes slightly open. "You're awake?" he asked. Fears ran wild in his mind as he realized she might flee or attack, but her steady gaze kept him calm. Rey nodded softly against his chest. Kylo breathed again. If she was aware and staying, she trusted him at least a little bit. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Rey said in a flat tone. "Thank you."

Kylo bit his lip. He wasn't quite sure what to do now that she was awake and still sprawled out against him. Should he offer to change positions? Was that weird? Was staying weird? What was she thinking? Did she somehow forget who she was with?

"Um, if you want to stay, Hux is getting some chicken soup sent up," Kylo finally said.

Rey was silent, but the hand she had draped across his waist began playing with the fabric of his shirt, and her eyebrows drew together as they always did when something puzzled her.

"I thought you wanted to hurt me," Rey said after a time. Her voice was vulnerable, and she looked away as she said it.

Kylo squeezed her to him without thinking, and when she turned a confused and wary face to him, digging her chin into his ribs in the process, he blushed and put his hands on the bed away from her, limiting their contact to that which she maintained. "I'm sorry," he said, thinking of how he forced the hug on her. His thoughts drifted to Crait and the Supremacy. "I'm sorry about everything." Rey maintained eye contact with him, and he trembled with regret.

Her eyes widened, and she pushed up slightly to look at him more closely, her face only inches away from his own. "Are you sick too? You're shaking."

Kylo gazed at her, mesmerized by her proximity, until he finally processed her words. He looked away quickly and huffed out a laugh even as he winced. "No, I'm not sick." He recalled Hux's concern about Rey getting them sick. "Not yet, anyway," he corrected. He felt like he should say more, something to explain the turbulent emotions coursing through him, but he didn't know what. He didn't want to risk scaring her away again.

Rey frowned and rested her head on his chest again so that she faced his stomach. "Is it okay that I'm here?"

"Yes," Kylo said. He wondered that she asked, given he had offered the galaxy to her before. Did she not know he would do anything for her?

Rey nuzzled her head against him and adjusted her arm on his waist to better curve against him. She slid her other arm under his back, clasped her hands together, and hugged him tightly. "Thank you. Chicken soup sounds nice."

Kylo froze. "You're… Why are you embracing me?"

Rey practically jumped off him to sit up and face him with wide eyes. They no longer touched, and Kylo felt his stomach plummet. Was this it? Was she shutting him out again now? Rey went slack a moment, caught herself, shook her head briefly as if to clear it, and faced him again. "Should I not?"

Should she not what? Embrace him? Oh.

Kylo's lips parted as words failed him. Of course, she shouldn't. She was terrified of him, right? She had told him as much herself when she was still feverish. He certainly enjoyed having her close, but what did it all mean? She wasn't here by choice. She had shut him out since Crait, and only her illness kept her from blocking the bond now. Would she cut him off again once she recovered enough? Did the prospect of losing her tomorrow change how close he wanted to be today?

Rey's eyes softened as she watched him. "What's wrong? What are you thinking?" Rey asked.

Kylo's racing thoughts froze out in white, and the simplest truth tumbled forth from his mouth. "I don't want to lose you again."

Rey studied him for a moment, then shifted her gaze to where his right hand gripped the bedsheets next to her. Rey took her index finger and idly traced the bones in his hand with it. "Why do you think you will lose me again?"

"You blocked me," Kylo stated. His heartbeat hastened as he watched her voluntarily touch him. The dissonance between her earlier terror at him and her current physically affectionate behavior made him want to cry and throw up all at once. Which was real? Which was fake? Could things have changed again between them that rapidly, or was she just making the best out of a situation she couldn't control? He felt like he was in some nightmarish fantasy, and he tried to bring reality down again lest he be even more disappointed upon waking. He jerked his hand back from her touch. "You blocked me for three months."

Rey froze her hand and stared at it. "I won't apologize, Ben. I thought you wanted to kill me. We know what you ordered on Crait, Ben. You said no quarter-no survivors."

"I'm sorry," Kylo blurted out.

Rey held up a hand to stop him. "I know." She sighed and pulled her hand back into her lap, then looked up to meet his eyes. "I know now. I didn't earlier. I thought you would kill me if you caught me." She bit her lip and glanced down for a moment before facing him again. "But you didn't. You didn't kill me. You… saw me passed out and feverish and nursed me back to health. You don't even want to kill the Resistance anymore. I couldn't believe you plotted with General Hux to send the Resistance extra aid. You even lost sleep to hold me upright enough that I could sleep." She smirked. "And you apologized."

Kylo blushed, trying to remember everything he and Hux had discussed while they thought Rey had been asleep. "I hadn't realized you were awake that whole time."

Rey looked up and met his eyes. "I was, and I could see and hear Hux for some reason. He knows about the bond. You told him."

Kylo tensed up, fearing her judgment. "You were gone. I was losing myself, and Hux had too much influence. I either had to kill him or make him my ally, so I took a chance."

"And you're friends now," Rey said. "I'm happy for you." She forced a smile that didn't reach her eyes, and Kylo wondered what had happened with her own friends for her to appear so bittersweet.

She coughed once, gasped, and fell into another coughing fit. Kylo watched in horror as her skin turned red while she struggled to breathe, and tears and snot ran down her face by the time she recovered. He didn't know what more to do, but he dug out his handkerchief and offered it when she looked up again. She took it without a word, and he watched in silence as she blew her nose and wiped up her face.

"I have water," Kylo realized. He grabbed the water bottle and held it out to her. Rey's eyes lit up. She grabbed it eagerly, unscrewed the cap, and downed it within seconds. Another coughing fit followed, and she sighed in relief when it was done. "The Resistance is short on water too?" Kylo asked.

Rey blushed this time. "A tribe of locals came to us begging for water and supplies for their sick. Our own people started falling ill the next day, and the entire region was placed under quarantine before we realized how badly off things were. No ships are allowed out, and no one wants to come in and risk becoming infected."

Kylo nodded. "I'll tell Hux to send water too."

Rey closed her eyes and parted her trembling lips as emotion overwhelmed her. "Thank you, Ben."

"You're welcome, Rey."

Rey took a moment to recover and studied him. "I want to get more sleep," she stated carefully. She bit her lip. "Can I borrow your chest again?"

Kylo's eyes shot wide open. "Uh, yea, of course. Umm…" He leaned back against the headboard and held his arms up and out to make room for her.

Rey smiled with relief, crawled to his side, and curled up against him with her head in the nook of his neck. Her arm rested across his chest now. Ben kept his hands away from her, and she snorted. "It's okay to hold me, Ben. It's easier to stay in place that way. You can rub my back again too if you like. It felt nice."

Warmth surged through Kylo, and he carefully tucked an arm behind her with a hand on her waist and held her to him. Though Rey coughed a little, her breathing soon fell even and quiet against him. Not much later, Kylo fell asleep too with his head nestled against hers.

Across the galaxy…

Poe Dameron had been looking all over the Resistance base for General Organa with no luck. He had tried the flagship, the overcrowded sick bay, the camp they set up on the planet… Everywhere, and he couldn't find her. Everywhere, except the Millenium Falcon. "Of course!" he said to himself and jogged off to the ship. Rey and Chewbacca were staying there, and Rey had fallen sick recently. The General must be checking on their little jedi.

When he got there, he found the ramp closed and both Chewbacca and General Organa speaking urgently outside. Not one to eavesdrop, Poe announced his presence as he jogged up by shouting, "General! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Poe Dameron, you're a sight for sore eyes," General Organa responded. "It's good to see that nasty virus hasn't knocked you down."

"My folks always said I was too brash to let myself fall ill. How is Rey doing? I heard she got it, but I'm sure she'll be fine. That's the toughest girl I've ever seen. Finn, on the other hand, is so sick, that he's been whimpering anytime someone turns the lights on. Say, is Rey available? I'm sure she could use the laugh at hearing how Finn is doing."

Leia exchanged an uneasy glance with Chewbacca, who grumbled and looked away. "I'm afraid that won't be possible," General Organa said.

"What? Why not? Don't tell me she's worried about how she looks. I mean, I know some girls do, but this is Rey we're talking about. She's practically one of the guys!"

"There's been an unexpected development," General Organa said and folded her hands in front of her.

Poe frowned then as he realized he may have overestimated Rey's ability to throw a cold. "Is she alright? Does she need help? I mean, I know the planet's under quarantine and all, but I'm sure I can find a way through-"

"No, she's got help," General Organa said with the strangest expression and… was that an eyeroll? "Don't you worry about her, Poe. We've got it under control. Go look after the others. That's an order."

Poe didn't leave right away. His thoughts were going a mile a minute, suddenly realizing how peculiar it was that both Chewbacca and General Organa were standing outside the ship with the ramp closed and Rey inside… And if Rey were getting help in there, then who was giving her the help?

"Now, Poe," General Organa said in a voice that allowed no argument.

Poe scampered off, occasionally glancing with concern at the ship behind him.

"Well that's managed," Leia grumbled to Chewbacca as Poe left hearing range. "Now I just need to figure out what to do about finding my son asleep in bed with Rey. Thank you again for coming to me first, Chewie."

Chewbacca grumbled.

Leia snorted. "Her fever's gone, she's barely coughing, and there's a First Order water bottle beside them… not to mention how they're all wrapped up together like lovers. Somehow, he learned she was sick and cared enough to make a point of helping her. The force works in strange ways. Still, how did he get here?"


	6. Friday the 13th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Friday the 13th
> 
> Date Added: Sep 13, 2019
> 
> Rating: K+ (everyone)
> 
> Description: When everything goes wrong, Rey discovers things aren't that bad after all.

Rey stared at the smoking flux converter and growled. "The force flows through me and within me, and there is no such thing as bad luck!" She heard Chewbacca chuckling behind her, and she slammed the wrist she was holding down. "You're welcome to fix it," she muttered. She put her hands on her hips and paced the Falcon's cockpit, looking down as she thought. "The force decides luck… there can't be something as silly as a bad luck day… and even if there were, why Friday the 13th?" she muttered.

Chewbacca mewled at her.

"Just because I don't know everything about the force doesn't mean there's such a thing as bad luck days. It doesn't make any sense."

Chewbacca mewled again and tilted his head at her.

"No, I haven't asked Ben if he knows anything about them," she said, pausing in her steps. She bit her lip as she considered that option. Chewbacca had long ago discovered that she was secretly on fairly friendly terms with Ben Solo, AKA Kylo Ren, leader of the First Order. However, Chewie didn't know that she and Ben hadn't spoken in a week following an argument over… well… many things, but it didn't matter. They had agreed to accept each other as they were and not try to change each other, but when Rey had heard what Ben had done…

Rey sighed. She had crossed the line and told Ben to change, and then he had chewed her out for it and ended the connection in a huff. He hadn't reached out to her since, and she had been too afraid of rejection to try and initiate contact to apologize.

She missed him.

Sparks flew in her peripheral vision, and she spun around to see that the flux converter was now spouting flames, and Chewbacca was roaring at it.

Could the day get worse?

Yes, yes, it could.

Their entire morning had been wasted trying to fix the flux converter, and several other things had gone wrong in the process. Chewbacca had thrown the wrench into the pilot's console at one point, requiring repairs there too. Rey had tripped not once, but twice, while moving around the ship. When they had given up on repairing the flux converter and ordered a new one, they got a wrong model delivered first, a damaged unit delivered second, and while the third unit eventually worked, it required rewiring half the ship to happen.

Though Rey still harbored doubts that bad luck could really exist in excess on a particular day, she found herself becoming fearful of the rest of the day.

She had lunch with Chewie on the planet the Resistance was based at. Her order was wrong, and then the kitchen caught on fire, forcing everyone to leave early into a thunderstorm. Then, on the way to the Falcon, a speeder displaced a fresh puddle directly onto Rey, leaving her caked in mud.

Rey reached into the force to calm herself and accidentally brushed up against Ben's signature, who recoiled on the contact. Though the more rational part of her mind acknowledged his reaction may have merely been surprise, Rey was exhausted and heavy-hearted from her rough day and couldn't help suspect that Ben wanted nothing more to do with her.

Heartbroken, muddy, and miserable, Rey trudged her way back to the Falcon, where she slipped into the refresher, peeled off her clothes, turned on the sonic, and sobbed as she cleaned off her body. She heard Chewie knock at some point, but refused to answer. Similarly, she felt Ben's signature inquire into her grief, but she pushed him away, simultaneously fearing his pity and his disgust. She didn't feel like herself, and she didn't want him to see her like this when they had been fighting.

She wanted…

Rey shook her head. This day was ridiculous, and maybe there was something to this Friday the 13th business. Regardless, she had had enough, and the galaxy wouldn't implode if she spent one afternoon hidden away in her bunk to cry it out.

Rey turned off the sonic, wrapped herself in a towel, and headed to her bunk to put on fresh clothes. Once dressed, she curled up in her bunk with her back to the world and closed her eyes, reaching out to the force again, but this time carefully avoiding Ben's signature.

It didn't matter. He found her.

"What's wrong?" he asked through the force.

Rey didn't answer. How could she? She couldn't exactly tell him that she heard the day would be bad luck from Finn and then experienced nothing but bad luck so far.

The sound of the room trembled and cleared up again as Ben pushed for their bond to solidify, bringing them together. She could feel him standing behind her looking down at her, and she hugged herself tighter, afraid of what he might do or say. It wasn't that she thought he might try to hurt her. They had left those days long behind. However, she was far too attached to him to not feel his every action and word deeply. She suspected that she might even be in love with him, though she didn't know enough about romantic love to be sure.

What she did know was that it felt like a blade going through her heart every time he narrowed his eyes at her with disappointment.

She curled up even tighter. She couldn't handle this right now.

"Rey, what's wrong?" he asked softly, and her heart melted even as goosebumps formed all along her body. Even though they had a war between them… Even though she had crossed a line and angered him… Even though they had avoided each other for several days… He was still there to support her when he knew she was sad.

Her heart ached with how much she loved him.

He sighed heavily behind her. "Would you like me to leave?" he asked. His voice was thick with grief, as if her lack of response wounded him.

Rey squeezed her eyes shut. Even though she was terrified of being hurt by him, the notion of hurting him terrified her more. "No," she whispered.

He inhaled sharply, as if surprised, and she twisted to face him, longing to see his widened brown eyes and parted lips in more than just her imagination. He knelt by her immediately when their eyes met, and he gazed at her face, just barely a foot away.

"I'm sorry I told you to change," she blurted out, and a fresh wave of tears washed down her face. She turned the rest of the way to face him with her head still on her pillow.

Ben tilted his head and the left corner of his mouth just barely curled into the hint of a smile. "I'm sorry I lost my temper at you and left. I missed you." He took off his right glove and carefully wiped away the tears from her face. Rey closed her eyes at the warm contact and only opened them when he pulled away. He was staring at her lips then, though he cleared his throat and returned his eyes to her own. "What happened?" he asked, his tone clearly indicating he was talking about the current moment and not their previous fight. Apparently, he didn't need more time to talk about their disagreement, and for that, she was thankful.

Rey wet her bottom lip while gazing at him. "Bad day. Friday the 13th and all." She smirked. "At least, that's what Finn said it was. I thought he was making it up, but then…" She shrugged, then frowned and narrowed her eyes in question. "Is there such a thing as bad luck interfering with the force?"

Ben considered this. "I was never taught such a thing, however… this morning had been unusually trying for me."

"What happened?" Rey asked.

Ben adjusted back into sitting with his legs crossed. "Well, it started with Hux throwing a fit because someone had hidden his hair gel." He paused to smirk. "Though, considering I was the one who hid it, I suppose I brought that on myself." Rey smiled at him, and his eyes warmed at the sight. "However, I had no hand in the malfunctioning garbage compactors, the broken battle simulators, or the fight that broke out in the mess hall between the stormtroopers over who had the best figure." He thought for a moment. "Or the fire that broke out in the kitchen during our meal."

Rey's eyebrows shot up. "You had a fire at lunch too? Maybe this really is a bad luck day," she said in wonder.

Ben shook his head confidently. "Perhaps a bad luck morning, but definitely not a bad luck day." He paused as Rey tilted her head to the side, confused, but waiting for him to continue. "It brought us together," he explained.

Rey smiled warmly at that and took his hand in hers, relishing the feel of his skin against hers. "It did." Holding hands across the small gap between them felt awkward, so she pulled their hands up to rest beside her on the bunk. Ben blinked in surprise, but then moved closer to lean against the bunk, switching the hand that held hers to be more comfortable. "Ben, thank you for checking on me," Rey said.

"My pleasure," he answered, tilting his head back slightly so it rested against her stomach. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as his body relaxed, then closed his eyes.

"How long can you stay?" Rey asked him.

"As long as you need me," Ben answered. He squeezed her fingers gently and smiled at her with his eyes closed. If she didn't know better, she would suspect he planned to sleep there with his hand in hers and his head resting against her.

"I love you," she confessed before she could let her fears cage it in again.

He brought their joined hands up to his lips and watched her blush as he kissed her knuckles. "I know," he said with a pleased smile and closed his eyes again.

Rey sputtered, shocked that he hadn't said more in response, and sat up. Ben was forced up in the process as well, though he kept their hands latched. "Is that it?" she asked him. His grin widened, and she narrowed her eyes. "I tell you that I love you, and all you say is that you know?"

Ben's eyes were full of mirth, but he pushed himself up on his knees so they were eye-level again. "Old joke," he said. Rey wrinkled her face in hurt confusion, and he kissed her on the lips, gently at first, then when she responded, more sensually. "I love you too. Is that a better response?"

Rey smiled and kissed him again. If anything else bad happened that Friday the 13th, Rey was too lost in her bliss to notice.


	7. Checking In (K+)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title: Checking In
> 
> Date Added: Oct 16, 2019
> 
> Rating: K+ (everyone)
> 
> Description: Kylo may have given up on his connection to Rey, but he's not given up on her happiness.

Kylo Ren stood at the bridge of his star destroyer and watched the battle play out far below him on the planet of Dantooine, where the Resistance had hidden its most recent base in the remnants of an old Rebel Alliance base. Hux stood nearby as well, silent except to give the occasional command. The First Order had launched walkers to the surface not very long ago, and the fireballs showed that they had reached and engaged the Resistance. Kylo had left clear instructions to focus firepower on structures, not people, for he wanted as many alive as possible, but he could still feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he tuned into the force to monitor Rey.

The bond remained past Snoke's death, and months of experimentation had taught Kylo how to manipulate it at will. He could now control not only when he saw Rey through the bond, but also how well he saw her… for he had learned that he could crack open the path between them to get a sense of how she was feeling when he wanted to check on her without her knowledge.

He kept it cracked as often as possible.

Rey would be furious if she knew, of course. She had not spoken to him since their conflict on the Supremacy, not that he had particularly tried to get her to speak. He knew she was angry with him for clinging to the First Order, and he had no apologies for her. He was just as furious with her for choosing the Resistance over him.

Yet, when his initial anger and bloodlust had faded, he found he missed her. Even without the conversations, the knowledge she still existed helped him breathe more easily. Confirming she was well gave him hope. He was not exactly sure what he felt hope for… he did not expect her to ever consider him a friend again, let alone the more intimate relationship he had envisioned between them when he offered to let her rule the galaxy at his side… but he felt hope in something, if only that such a beautiful soul could survive in the same galaxy that so badly damaged him.

And so, he began his experiments with the bond, trying to find a way to reassure himself that she was there without alarming her with his presence. He had no desire to trouble her beyond that required by being on opposite sides of a war. He simply wanted to know she was well.

"Supreme Leader, the Resistance is escaping!" Hux announced suddenly, pointing to where several ships, including the Millenium Falcon, were flying away from the mess of battle below. A moment later, they flashed into hyperspace, leaving the First Order and their base behind. His connection to Rey warbled with the jump to hyperspace, and he knew Rey was with them.

Kylo suppressed a sigh of relief. While he needed to crush the Resistance to ensure control of the galaxy, he did not look forward to capturing Rey as a prisoner. Dismissing the thought, he turned to a lieutenant in charge of readings from the surface. "How many life forms remain, Lieutenant Dubble?"

"Thirty-eight of the seventy originally scanned, Supreme Leader," the woman said quietly.

"Hux?" Kylo said, trusting his second-in-command to use this information to their best advantage.

"Capture them alive. Those sentimental fools will likely come back for them, and when they do…" Hux grinned darkly at Kylo. "We'll have them all, Supreme Leader." He paused and looked away thoughtfully, clenching his fist. Kylo eyed him with mild surprise. Apparently whatever Hux said next was important to him. Hux's eyes darted back to Kylo's with barely suppressed fury. "I want the traitor. It's critical we understand where we went wrong with him."

"I have no interest in FN-2187. He's yours to do with as you wish," Kylo said. Honestly, the whole of the Resistance could rot outside Rey and his mother. They were a bunch of vile thieves, murderers, and traitors. He would never rebuild his relationship with Rey or his mother, but he wanted them to live. He suppressed a snort. Snoke would have accused him of dangerous sentimentality. Well, Snoke was dead.

"There are two others," Hux added, his fist tightening. "Poe Dameron and a woman named Rose Tico."

Kylo raised a brow at Hux. "Dameron I understand, but the woman?" He had not known Hux had interactions with any of the women in the Resistance. As far as he knew, Hux hadn't even encountered Rey yet.

Hux blushed deeply. "She bit me when the Supremacy was boarded," he explained.

Kylo blinked. He had heard that a small group of Resistance fighters had infiltrated the Supremacy shortly before it was destroyed, but he had not known any particulars. He had been… distracted. No matter. He had no particular reason to deprive Hux of the additional prisoners. Conceding them would motivate Hux, and Kylo could always remove them from Hux later if Hux's interest in them proved too sadistic. "They're yours," Kylo said without further preamble.

Hux's grin narrowed and his eyes crinkled with such cold, malicious delight that even Kylo felt for the pilot and the woman. "Come now, Ren," Hux said on seeing Kylo's expression, "I'm sure you have your eye on at least one prisoner. Perhaps the scavenger?"

Kylo turned to Hux. "Anyone who hurts her will die," Kylo stated. Hux's eyes went wide with shock, and Kylo stomped away from the bridge before Hux could recover from his bewilderment. He was done with the discussion, and Hux did not need Kylo for the clean-up of the Resistance base. Furthermore, though Kylo had felt Rey's jump to hyperspace interfere with the connection, he still wanted to verify that she was safe and away from the First Order's forces on Dantooine.

Kylo did not stop until he was in the privacy of his rooms. He unfastened his cloak and tossed it aside before removing his boots and leaving them in disarray beside the door as well. Once he had cared immensely about putting things in their right place. Now, he was too frustrated with Hux's sadism and his own inability to help Rey. He paced.

He could still feel her connection, just slightly, but he couldn't get a good sense of how she felt or whether she was injured. He had no patience for his fears today. He growled, reached into the force, and ripped away the veil separating him from Rey, forcing the connection to solidify between them as the sound in the room warped slightly.

She sat in front of him with her leg propped up. It was bleeding through a wrap, which someone else, a young woman with short dark hair and a khaki jumpsuit on, tied up with an additional bandage. Rey was in pain, but her eyes glared hot at his during their connection.

"Rey, what is it?" the other woman spoke as she finished her work and stepped back, disappearing into Rey's side of the force.

"Nothing," Rey answered carefully, and Kylo knew she was referencing his conversation with her on the Supremacy, where he had called her nothing. She turned to the woman. "Rose, can you check on the ship repairs for me? You know you're the only one I trust for that." She held up her hand slightly, cautioning Kylo to wait.

Kylo watched quietly, surprised that Rey hadn't outright told him to leave or cut him off somehow… though perhaps she didn't know how. He waited another moment, and Rey faced him and dropped her hand. "Why are you here?" she asked coldly.

"Was that Rose Tico?" he asked instead of answering her.

Rey's eyes narrowed with confusion and glanced in the direction Rose had left in before returning to Kylo. "You could see her?"

So that was the woman Hux wanted from the Resistance, and she was someone Rey trusted. "While she touched you, yes," Kylo said. "Is Rose Tico your friend?"

Silence met him, and he had his answer. "Don't let her be captured. Hux is interested in her personally," Kylo explained.

Rey's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "Why are you warning me?"

Kylo didn't respond. He had no interest in explaining himself to Rey. His attempts aboard the Supremacy had ended in disaster, after all. He folded his hands behind his back and walked closer to study her leg. Rey scooted back slightly, leaning away from him, but she did not get up. He could only assume her lightsaber was not within reach. "Broken?" he asked, studying the bandaged wound.

"Shot. Nicked the bone and damaged my muscle," Rey explained after a moment. He reached out a hand to look more closely, and she shook her head. "Don't touch me."

Kylo froze his hand midreach and slowly withdrew it. "The First Order has equipment that could heal your injury quickly."

"You're insane if you think I would ever come to your side willingly again," Rey hissed.

Again, Kylo did not answer her, choosing instead to focus on the dilemma of how to help her injury when she wanted nothing to do with him. He was also rather frustrated that his crack into their bond had not alerted him to her pain. "Are there any other injuries?"

"Planning to murder me in my sleep?" Rey accused.

Kylo raised a brow. He knew Rey was in pain, but even she must know that he had no desire to hurt her now on some level. Perhaps he needed to prove a point, distasteful as it would be. He stepped closer into her space and loomed over her.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, and fear entered her voice.

He sighed. Rey had so much potential, and yet she still had so much to learn. He lunged forward and put his hand around her neck in a choke, though he did not tighten it enough to cut off her air. Alarm filled her eyes as she brought up both hands to try and pull free, but she was weak from her injury. Within a minute, she had given up, panting with one hand still on his wrist in a weak effort to push him away. "Let me go," she whispered. Her eyes were downcast, and something about her spirit seemed broken.

Kylo kept his hand firm around her slender neck, feeling like a beast, but also determined to drive his point home. "My hand is around your throat, Rey, and you can't fight me. Why are you alive?"

"I don't know," Rey protested, avoiding his eyes.

"You know the truth, Rey. Don't run from it. Why are you alive?" Kylo said, determined to have her acknowledge him… determined to have her acknowledge that he still cared for her, even if she wished nothing of him.

Rey's eyes raised slowly to gaze at his. "You want me alive," she said, and the admission sent tears streaming down her cheeks to land on his hand where it clutched her.

Kylo closed his eyes and withdrew his shaking hand from her neck. "Do you know why?" he asked, too tired from her prior accusation to care that she would know how pathetic he was. "Rey, do you know why I want you alive?"

"Because you still want to claim me," she muttered.

Kylo's heart broke, and he shook his head as tears ran down his own face. "I've given up on that, Rey."

"Then why?" she asked in a voice that suggested she clearly didn't believe that he had given up. The bond closed between them in that moment against Kylo's wishes, and he hung his head for a moment before sweeping his arm across the room with the force behind it, knocking bedding, wall hangings, and more askew.

"Why, indeed?" he asked himself. He did not know how to describe the purity of his desire to see Rey live and live well, regardless of his involvement in her life. He thought back to her leg injury, shoved his feet back in his boots, and stomped off to the med bay without his cloak.

Later that evening, Kylo took a deep breath and created the crack in the bond again, letting him sense Rey on some level. She seemed oddly quiet, and he suspected she was asleep. Cautiously, he slowly opened the bond until he could see her. Her eyes were closed, and she was tucked into bed with her leg uncovered and propped up.

Kylo drank in the sight of her and her even breathing, thankful yet again that she still numbered among the living. However, he did not know how long he could count on her to sleep, and so he wrenched himself away from her face to look at her leg.

He did not even know if his plan would work. His experiments with what he could do through their bond had been severely limited, given their rocky relationship. However, he was determined to give her the best care he could manage. He rolled the portable bacta tank that he had claimed from the med bay closer to Rey's side and carefully took her foot, which was bare, and submerged just the toe into the tank before pulling it back out. The toe showed wetness from the bacta liquid, and Kylo sighed his relief. He could treat her so long as he maintained contact with her.

The next step was to loosen the wrap enough that the bacta could work on the wound to accelerate its healing. He untied the knot holding it together when he heard someone speak behind him, their voice distorted through the bond. "I see you. What are you doing?" the voice asked. Kylo could barely tell if it was man or woman, and he certainly couldn't recognize it.

"I have a bacta tank. I intend to heal her leg," he said, trying to look in the direction of the voice, but he could see nothing.

"She doesn't want your help," the voice answered.

"Will you stop me?" Kylo asked.

The voice didn't answer. After a moment, Kylo went back to work, exposing the wound on her leg before gently lowering her leg into the bacta tank until the injury was submerged with his arm. Rey moaned slightly, but she did not wake.

"Do you love her?" the voice spoke into the silence.

Kylo considered this. His parents had said they loved him, but abandoned him to his uncle. Snoke taught that love was dangerous, as did Luke… Kylo didn't think much of what he had seen of love. "I want her to be happy," he finally answered.

"You and the First Order represent everything she hates, Kylo Ren," the voice said.

Kylo frowned. He knew it was true, but it was also irrelevant. "She came to me once, and I failed her. I do not expect her to come to me again."

Silence followed. Kylo kept his hand firm on her leg in the bacta, ensuring the wound remained submerged. He checked the bacta tank settings to see how much time was left. Rey had barely moved since he put her leg in it. "Is she drugged?" Kylo asked, uncertain as to what else could cause such deep rest.

"She is. General Organa ordered it."

Kylo's eyes widened slightly. He couldn't say he was surprised, but there was still something unsettling about realizing his mother was caring for Rey.

The voice continued. "I think I get it now. I'm not saying I understand this whole force bond thing, which is really creepy by the way… I was terrified of running into you even when we were on the same side, and seeing you as a half-there apparition is horrifying... but you really do mean her well, don't you?"

Ah, so the mysterious voice belonged to F-2187, or Finn, as Rey had called him. "She is the light in my darkness," Kylo said.

"Poetic. That's cool," Finn said. "So if she's the light in your darkness or whatever, why keep doing the First Order thing? Why not join the Resistance and help her directly?"

Kylo shook his head. "I offered her the galaxy, Finn. She could have shaped it into anything she desired at my side. She responded by reaching for her lightsaber. I am a monster in many respects, but even I do not force myself around someone who wants nothing to do with me just to satisfy my own greed."

"You're forcing yourself on her now," Finn reminded him.

Kylo bared his teeth, wishing the bond was clear enough to identify where Finn's voice came from so he could glare in the appropriate direction. "I'm forcing my resources on her, the same way my mother forced a sleep drug on her. If I have any say in it, she will wake up healed tomorrow with no knowledge of how she came to be that way."

The bacta tank beeped, indicating it had done as much as could be done. Kylo removed her leg, toweled it down of the excess bacta, and deftly wrapped it in fresh bandages and tied them off. He considered having a final word to Finn, but he could think of nothing to say that would make any difference. Either the young man would tell Rey what happened or not.

Kylo cut the connection and found himself alone in his room once more, bacta tank and dirty bandages on the floor beside him. He ordered a droid to clean up the mess and return the bacta tank, then collapsed onto his own bed with the satisfaction that, even if Rey were angry, at least her leg had received the best care he could provide.

The next several days passed in a blur. Kylo cut back on monitoring Rey through the bond, given that she did not want his company and his prior attempts had not even informed him when she had been injured. Hux had successfully rounded up the Resistance members that had remained on Dantooine, leading to rather full prison bays aboard the fleet. None of the targets of interest had been among them, which was no surprise to Kylo. He had known for a fact that Rose and Finn had escaped with Rey, and he fully expected his mother and Poe to be at the head of any escape attempts.

However, his mother, Rey, Poe, and Finn would also be at the head of any rescue attempts… perhaps even Rose too. Kylo had trouble imagining anyone growing close to Rey who wouldn't jump into danger at her side.

The battle came without warning.

One moment, Kylo Ren was admiring the stars above Dantooine from the bridge, and the next, countless alarms were blaring as an entire fleet appeared before them. "Where did they get the ships?" Kylo muttered as he stared at them.

"Orders, Sir?" said a nearby lieutenant.

"Get Hux down here," Kylo spat. "Scan for projections and life forms. It's only been a few days and they lost over half their forces on Dantooine. There has to be a trick to this…"

"All ships are real, but half of the fleet have no life forms aboard," one liuetenant announced.

"Droids then, most likely… or some kind of slave rigging. We have the advantage, however. They won't want to risk harming the captives we have."

"Ren! What's the report?" Hux said, running to the bridge and smoothing back his hair on reflex before adjusting his uniform. "How do they have so many?"

"Real ships. Not all manned… not sure if controlled by droids or a slave rig. They will be hesitant to fire. We have their men in our holds, after all," Kylo said.

"Right. Well, there are unfortunately many points aboard a Star Destroyer that they can target without risking harm to the prison holds. May I suggest an alternative approach to battle?" Hux said.

Ren looked to Hux and waited expectantly.

"They fear loss of life. Remove prisoners from the holds, place them around the ships under armed escort, and let the pathetic Resistance know that they cannot fire upon us without losing their own. Then we can pick them off at our leisure."

"Permission granted," Kylo said, though he doubted the plan would go nearly as smoothly as Hux intended. His mother was not that stupid. Still, he had no better ideas. His strengths rested with armed combat, not with fleet strategy. "I will head to the launch bay."

"Why?" Hux asked with blatant confusion and disapproval.

"Because I expect we will soon have guests, and I would like to greet them personally," Kylo explained with twisted grin before marching away from the bridge towards the launch bay. The ship had multiple launch bays, but the force led Kylo to the primary one, which was his guess anyway. The secondary bay was primarily full of TIE fighters, after all.

The Falcon was present and empty by the time Kylo reached the area. What guards had been in the area were knocked out or otherwise incapacitated. Kylo studied the ship and thought through the most likely directions for Rey to have gone… for he had no doubt she had been aboard the Falcon… probably with Finn, if not also Poe and Rose. He closed his eyes and reached out through the force… There. They were heading for the prison holds. Well, at least they were not likely aiming to cripple his ship.

Kylo eyed the Falcon again. He could chase after them to the prison hold and try to stop them there, or…

Kylo boarded the Falcon.

The idea of actually capturing Rey was distasteful… However, disabling the Falcon was likely the best option available for managing the Resistance infiltration. Kylo glanced around the ship hold at the other ships present. Knowing Rey, he should probably disable all of them. Hux would throw a fit, but…

Kylo set to work.

When Rey raced back into the ship bay an hour later with Finn, Poe, and Rose at her side and around ten prisoners behind them, Kylo was waiting for them with a platoon of stormtroopers. They skidded to a stop about thirty feet away from him, and Kylo could see Rey's eyes darting around the room, taking stock of the ships closer to her.

"Save your energy, Rey. I've disabled every ship in this hold," Kylo said. He watched Rey turn heel and aim for the exit, and he reached into the force to freeze her, then drag her towards him. Halfway to him, she twisted around and made a cutting motion with the force that threw him back into his men. Kylo wasted no time leaping back up and at her, this time with his lightsaber drawn.

They battled. Kylo had not known Rey had built a new saber, but she had… a staff of sorts, but he hardly had time to admire it while dodging her blows. She had improved… probably practiced with the traitor, who would have received such training during his time as a stormtrooper.

They battled. Parry. Lunge. Dodge. It seemed endless, and he could feel her drawing onto the force as he did. He was surprised that she had no bloodlust. Whether that was due to some light side no emotions mumbo jumbo or a true desire not to kill him, he did not know. However, neither of them went for fatal blows.

She was growing weary though, and he could see the sweat on her skin. Deciding it would be a mercy, he gave a swift kick to her leg where she had been shot and watched her crumple under the blow to her not-quite-healed leg. He collected her lightsaber quickly and tucked it away with his own before facing her friends.

"I do not wish to harm you, but I will if you fight me. Return peacefully to your cells under escort and I assure that any injuries sustained in your brief adventure aboard will be addressed. Kneel with your hands on your head until given further instructions. If you do not kneel, I will cut you down where you stand."

The ten prisoners and their rescuers knelt down immediately while Rey massaged her injured leg at his feet. "That was low of you," she muttered.

"I am a monster," Kylo reminded her. "Stormtroopers, return the prisoners to their cells. Leave their rescuers to me."

"What are you going to do to my friends?" Rey asked, fear suddenly in her voice.

"What I should have done to them last time," he muttered, already angry with himself for the choice he was about to make. He waited until the other prisoners were taken out of the bay, leaving him alone with Rey and her three friends. "FN-2187, why did you defect from the First Order?" he asked. May as well get the familiar one out of the way first.

Finn narrowed his eyes at Kylo Ren. "I was part of the slaughter you ordered on that Jakku village. It felt wrong."

Kylo Ren had suspected as much, but… He took a breath. "FN-2187, those orders were carried out under the vision of Supreme Leader Snoke. The First Order is my responsibility now, and I am open to changes in how we run things. FN-2187, I would like you to return to duty under a new position… a mission ethics officer. You would be directly under me and report to me when you or one of the stormtroopers receives an order that… feels wrong."

Finn frowned. "With all due respect, my name is Finn."

"Finn, then, would you be interested in returning to the First Order with the responsibility for communicating ethical concerns directly to me?" Kylo Ren asked.

Finn's posture sulked even as he kept his hands on his head. "I don't know. That would depend on what you plan to do with my friends."

"Poe Dameron," Kylo Ren addressed next. "I know you're a pilot and have lead squadron fights against the First Order. How would you like to put Hux out of a job?" he asked. In full honesty, Kylo suspected Hux was a far better strategist than the impulsive, risk-taking man in front of him, but Hux would be too problematic to leave in charge regardless, and without the Resistance against them, they would not likely need such a strategist.

Poe coughed a laugh. "Okay, I'm not going to lie. The idea has its merits, but I'm not signing on to the First Order, especially not while they remain at war with the Resistance."

Kylo Ren turned to Rose. "What do you do?" he asked her. He had not been able to suitably dig up resources on the small woman.

The woman froze, and Finn answered for her. "She's a mechanic and an inventor. If you want to sway her over, offer her a lab to design in, but don't think she'll switch for anything less than what Poe asked. The First Order basically destroyed her home planet."

"What are you doing?" Rey asked him.

"Like I said, what I should have done last time. You wanted me to save them and surrender the First Order when we met on the Supremacy," Kylo said to Rey. He took a deep breath. "There's no crown or clothes that go with my position, but I give the responsibility to you."

"Why?" Rey asked. "You defeated me in combat!"

"I don't want to cage you, and I cannot in good conscience free you and still lead the First Order, therefore, I'm surrendering to you. If you come with me to the bridge, we can remove Hux, who will object, and request a meeting with my mother for a truce before more bloodshed can happen."

Kylo held a hand out to help pull her up, but Rey refused it. Suppressing a groan at her stubbornness, Kylo turned to Finn. "Help her walk to the bridge. It's not a short walk, and she's injured. You can take her to the med bay after. Follow me." Kylo turned his back on Rey and her friends and began walking, trusting that the four Resistance members would follow him. He was not doing this to get close to her. He was not giving up the First Order for her gratitude. He simply wanted her to be happy, and he knew she would never be happy in a First Order cage.

He wondered what she would do now that he was ending the war.

The walk to the bridge was absolutely silent, as if Rey and her friends were under a spell that they feared speaking would break. When he arrived on the bridge, he swiftly knocked Hux unconscious and ordered that Hux be taken to an empty cell. Kylo wasn't sure Hux could be brought around, but he figured it was worth a try.

Negotiations were swift and simple, and while the First Order lieutenants expressed horror and confusion at the turn of events, none of them dared act while two strong force users were present.

When it was all said and done, Kylo hauled Hux's unconscious form onto Kylo's personal ship and left the First Order in the hopefully capable hands of his mother and Rey. Kylo was not quite sure why he bothered to bring Hux with him, but it felt like the right thing to do.

Time passed. Kylo found that befriending Hux was not unlike attempting to tame a feral animal, but Kylo knew Hux was a lonely person, and they eventually reached an uneasy truce where Hux was equal measures furious with Kylo for surrendering and thankful to Kylo for not outright killing him. Their relationship was a far cry from the easy friendships Rey shared with her friends, but it was a step in that direction, which was a step closer to friendship than Kylo had experienced with anyone else… except perhaps Rey.

This whole time, Kylo kept them far from the First Order, the Resistance, and Rey.

Then one evening, as Kylo drifted in and out of sleep, he felt the bond activate. He opened his eyes and looked to see Rey standing by his bed. "Rey?" he asked. She looked different now… in proper clothes instead of the rags she used to wear. His mother probably had a hand in that. She blushed slightly on seeing him, and Kylo realized he wasn't wearing a shirt. He smirked, reached for the one he had tossed off before bed, and pulled it on.

"I'm just checking in on you," she said. "How are you doing?"

"Fine. Hux is an awful first mate, but we're learning to get along better," he said. "How is peace?"

Rey blushed. "Different, but good. Thank you. I'm not sure I ever told you before. Rose is really enjoying the laboratory… and Finn's been doing all sorts of things working with Stormtrooper reform. Poe decided to stick with piloting though… he gave the job of managing the fleets to Kaydel Connix."

Kylo smiled gently. He could see that. "And what do you do?" he asked her.

"A little bit of everything, really. I like maintenance, mostly. Fixing the ship bay took me a week, but it was fun. You really did ground every ship in there," Rey said with laughter in her eyes.

Kylo chuckled. "I don't regret it."

"I need to go… may I check in on you again?" Rey asked.

"Whenever you like," Kylo said, feeling lighter and happier than he ever had in his life.


End file.
